3 girls on my mind, which to choose?
Dear Dr. Cindy - Wednesday, October 24th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
Dear Dr. Cindy: I am in a situation where I have begun to go out and date girls after three years on a break.
I have met three girls I like; all possess tempting qualities, all have a little bit of the qualities I want in a woman. I want you to help me choose.
Girl A: She is tall. Love the height. Always want a girl close to my height. She is sexy. Very beautiful, I might add. She has a decent job as a supervisor, she drives, and she is single, plus she is around my age. Problem is she has a kid. I do not want any girl with a kid.
Girl B: She does not drive (bummer), she has an okay job (at least she is employed). She is the ideal age, about three younger than me. She is cute but not as beautiful as Girl A. She is single. No kids. Problem is she doesn’t have good education, especially at her age.
Girl C: She has a man but they’re going through problems. She is beautiful. She has no kids but confessed she had one abortion and one miscarriage. She has good education and she owns her own business. She is just two years older than me. I do like this one out of all three but the two situations bugging me are the fact she has a man (though she wants to leave him and come to me), and she has thrown away too many kids.
It’s really hard cause I could see myself falling for any of the three but circumstances dictate. Should I date some more? Or which would you choose?
Curious Nick
Dear Curious Nick:
Good for you for getting back out there and seeing your options. You have presented three choices, all of whom you admitted to liking, but, you stated you have more of a preference for “Girl C.”
For you, all of your reasons for hesitating in each instance are valid to you, and I respect that. However, the reality is, you may not find all of the qualities you want in one person. Hence, this is one of the many reasons why persons may date more than one person at a time. Each person meets different needs and because each person is unique, they bring a different personality to the relationship.
I will not tell you which girl to choose as you have asked. This is your choice and decision to live with. I will, however, tell you that it sounds as if you want validation or agreement to date “Girl C” as you stated, “I do like this one out of all three.” It may also be that you want to date all three and see which of the three you like best, despite their shortcomings.
My suggestion would be to be honest with yourself, and answer the question of whether or not you can live with, or be content with either of them in the long-term with the identified shortcomings. If the answer is no, then you would know it would not work out and you would move on. Also, can you find a girl with the qualities that are important to you, that is, no children, a good education for their age, no previous abortions, and single? She may be out there, as well as she may not. This is the gamble we take when we choose to date and put ourselves in the dating scene.
Further, there are other variables to look at: How long has it been since you have met the three girls? Perhaps, you may need a bit more time to get to know each of them and yourself in relation to them before you make a final decision.
Unless you are in a rush to get married, or you have given yourself a timeline to be committed to one of the three girls, I suggest taking more time to really see how and where the relationships can go. Now, do not misunderstand me, I am not saying to date all three girls at once romantically. This, however, is your choice should you choose to do so.
What I am saying is, get to know them and yourself and then, you will make the decision that is best for you. Until then, enjoy being back on the dating scene and meeting new people.
Best Wishes,
Dr. Cindy
Email letters to [email protected] Letters are strictly confidential and total privacy maintained. Also see disclaimer below.
Cimorge Counseling & Consultation, Inc, published every Wednesday exclusively on this site, provides responses for Dear Dr. Cindy. These responses are the professional opinion of Dr. Cindy M. George and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The professional opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Cindy M. George, Cimorge Counseling & Consultation, Inc., and Alliance News Ltd/BVI News Online/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user, or any third party associated with the user.
For more info, please visit: website: www.cimorgecounseling.com; facebook:www.facebook.com/cimorge; youtube:www.youtube.com/cimorge
Copyright 2013 BVI News, Alliance News Limited. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or distributed.
17 Comments
Disclaimer: BVI News and its affiliated companies are not responsible for the content of comments posted or for anything arising out of use of the comments below or other interaction among the users. We reserve the right to screen, refuse to post, remove or edit user-generated content at any time and for any or no reason in our absolute and sole discretion without prior notice, although we have no duty to do so or to monitor any public forum. All comments posted on BVINews.com reflect the views and opinions of the commentators and not that of the management and staff. Click here for our full comment/user policy/ agreement.
U BUM SIMPLE AS A THAT CAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE U DONT DRIVE SO THATS Y U WANT A WOMAN WHO DRIVES SO U GET A FREE RIDE AN SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF UR BLACK ASS
I would go with Girl A, because firstly Girl B is not an option and Girl 3 has the “man drama” so you know he’ll be hunting for you, plus i doubt she’ll ever go single. Although option A has a child, if you’re in it for the long run thats the way to go
Three years out off the dating scene, Boss! I think you better of with your ex… Three years as past and you still can’t make up your mind. (Think deep) There are Three beautiful women before you and still you can’t make up your mind… Go back to your ex I don’t think anyone else will ever please you.
So what if 3 years past? Dont mean he got to jump on whatever pass his way
you talked about what the women have to ofer, what do you have to offer or are you a parasite?
Sounds like a leech. She should be the one deciding whether he worth the time of day
ROTFL!!! Can’t say you didn’t help the brother out!
this article and comments thereof are hilarious….
No education, no ride & a bum job? Girl B got to get cut
I would absolutely love to know what the writer brings to the table.
I laughed at the first two of his “clinchers” as being a woman I think the same about men. I want them to have a good education, good job, be a kind and thoughtful man, have integrity, and aspirations. Deal breaker’s are he’s married, or has a girlfriend, has kids and a baby momma to contend with (grown kids are fine though), has no job or a lousy one, has no car and of course if he can’t carry on an intelligent conversation. I would think my list matches plenty of women’s lists. Thing is most single men fit more of the deal breakers than the clinchers.
Girl “A” despite being beautiful has a child which he knows is a deal breaker. He should see beyond her beauty and stop wasting her time.
I also wish to suggest to the writer that he not judge Girl “C” as someone who threw away her kids. First off no woman would want to have either an abortion or a miscarriage. Miscarriages are not by choice. They are an act of God or a result of some condition or accident. Having a miscarriage is extremely devastating for a woman. Remember she is the one carrying a baby inside of her body. That said, the woman also may under certain circumstances choose to abort. It is not for us or anyone to judge a woman for not choosing to go through with a pregnancy. You do not know the underlying circumstances that led to the decision. It is, in the end, her body and she alone will deal with the turmoil and guilt and perhaps one day have to answer for her choice. But IF his religious beliefs are such that he cannot be with a woman who has aborted a fetus then he should not be with her.
Girl “B” seems to fit the mold but the writer isn’t impressed by her poor education, her low-scale job and lack of transportation. In effect he is being materialistic with this choice. Most men don’t seem to care about these things. Plenty of men like the control they’ll have over a woman who may have to rely on them. Many more find being a provider very emasculating. So its must be one of two things. He either is well educated and has a good job and wants someone of the same “level”. In that case, I’d say pick none of the girls and wait for Ms. Right. The other perspective is he is wanting a sugar momma. Which would lead back to Option “C” but for the abortion issue which will probably circle back to selecting none of the girls and waiting for Ms. Right.
Just because he may be ready to date does not necessarily mean that he has to jump right in with someone who is not going to be compatible with his “wants”.
Boss ur confused for real. You need to stay single for life…….you like 3 well stick with 3 hope in the future wen you decides tht its time for u to be a father she will be able to produce…..afterall as you said she had too many abortions(she will just throw away ur kids like the others, remember u said u wanted a woman with no children, tht shoul be ok with u)…..If Girl A knws tht you dont want a woman with a child, she wouldnt want u either (so she is out of the pic). The one with no education, if u so cared about her u should have encouraged her to go back to school……education has no age limit, then she will be able to buy both of u a car(u sound like u dont have a car either, thts y its a problem to u)….u dont knw bout hitch hiking to her us? Now back to Girl C, a bit of security advise for u……..u better be on the lookout for her man, he may be come huntting for u very soon for trying to steal his girl
the letter stated that she had one abortion and one miscarriage. how the hell can that be so many kids? He is a fool. He need to be single.
Enjoy your options, brotha.
mayson do like a fowl…eat and wipe your mouth
Would you like people to do that to your daughter?
Lol
you people the get the thing them say ehhhh 
thanks FOR THE LAugh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Post a Comment