BVI News

Ministers Wilbert and Jacqueline Richardson

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4

What do you desire in a mate? What are some of the traits and the characteristics?

Do you want him to be tall, short, dark, light, financially stable, with children, without children, spiritually mature?

If you’re believing God to bring a mighty man of valor into your life, you must first know exactly the type of person that you desire.

For me, the most important specification was that my mate had to be someone who was on fire for the Lord, totally sold out to God, in the perfect will of God, and committed to the work of the Lord.

To sum it up, I desired a mighty man of valor, and God granted me the desire of my heart.

A person who is spiritually sound and grounded in the Word of God helps to create a good foundation in the event that marriage occurs.

However, I am finding out that some Christian women are not concerned about this aspect of a man’s character. I’ve seen some Christian women become so desperate that as long as the person was a “good person” and treated them well and probably went to church, that was enough for them.

There was no concern as to the spiritual condition of the man. I have also seen such women live to tell the sad tale. Ladies, you are very valuable to the Lord. He wants only His best for you. Don’t settle for crumbs when you can have the whole loaf of bread. Don’t settle for a bicycle when you can have a brand new Lexus.

Beware of men who suddenly become spiritual and committed when you tell them that unless they are you won’t date them. The Bible warns against being unequally yoked with unbelievers. Unequally yoked does not only refer to non-Christians but to Christians. If you date someone whose spiritual beliefs are the opposite of what you believe, you’ll always have conflict.

If you’re a Christian, don’t date someone who does not believe that Jesus Christ is Lord, with the hope that after you get married you can “win him over.” These days, couples need to know how to pray, how to war in the spirit, how to study the Word, and how to really hear from God and know what He’s saying. Remember that your mate should be someone who can help you grow in the Lord. If Jesus Christ is not Lord of his life, then he can neither help you nor lead you.

Don’t compromise your walk with the Lord and lower your standards in Christ in order to get married. If you do, you’ll live to regret it. You must stand your ground. If you’re presently dating someone and he’s bossy and controlling and you notice that he doesn’t like to spend money or his phone is always cut, you must ask yourself, “Am I willing to live with this person?” You must know what you desire from the Lord. You must know what you desire in a mate. A mistake many women make is that they fool themselves into thinking that negative traits they see will improve once they get married. This is a lie of the devil. When you date someone, he is usually on his best behavior.

When you marry him and you have more interaction, then those negative traits you may have seen and whatever was hidden will come out in time. None of us is perfect, but if you’re seeing things that are blatant and you know that God has been telling you to break the relationship, break it. I know that someone is saying, “It’s not that easy.” I know, I have been there. But I also know that the God who gave me strength and saw me through is able to do the same for you. It is better to break the relationship now than to get married and live in misery.

You may cry for days or your heart may feel terribly broken, but God is able to heal all the hurt and the pain and to help you go on with Him. God has so much in store for you. Why would you settle for less than God’s best? To those of you who are dating non-Christians, in the sight of God that is a no-no! To those of you who are dating Christians and don’t feel good in your spirit about the person’s commitment to the Lord, relationship with God, attitudes, personality, or other issues, I seriously advise you to seek God earnestly.

Take your time, don’t rush into anything that you’re feeling uncomfortable about—even if you’re already engaged. You must be joyful and feel at peace with your relationship. You must know beyond doubt God is the one who’s leading you and that He approves of your decisions and orders your steps.

Just a few weeks ago I had a disturbing dream where I saw a bride crying before her wedding night. I began talking to her and asking her what was wrong, and she told me that she felt like she was making the biggest mistake of her life. I told her in the dream that it is not too late to call it off and she said that it was because she did not want to let everybody down.

All I said to her was “How about the Lord—aren’t you concerned about letting God down?” I’m sure that that bride didn’t feel that way for the first time on the night before her wedding. She must have gotten many signals and red lights before but she refused to stop. If the Lord tells you after two weeks or two months to let it go, let it go. It is easier at that time to break than two weeks before the wedding.

God wants you to be obedient to Him in every area of your life. Obedience is better than sacrifice, and it’s better to obey God rather than man. God is concerned about every area of your life. He has promised that if you seek Him first, He will give you the desires of your heart. If you’re presently in a relationship that you know that God has ordained, continue to trust God and ask Him daily to direct you.

Study the Word of God, pray with your mighty man of valor and pray about everything. If you do that now, it will be easy when you become one. Be sure to get good Christian marital counseling and learn from the older ladies or from virtuous married women. I often encounter singles who are frustrated and upset with God because they think that their mate is overdue. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been praying or waiting, if you’re still single that means that God is either preparing you, him, or both of you. You have to decide whether or not you truly trust God. If you do, you know that His timing is perfect. As you wait on the Lord, be of good courage.

Allow God to bring his best into your life. Remember that God has ordained that marriage to be a lasting covenant. Trust God to come through for you. Despite what people may say, there are still mighty men of valor—not all are married, gay, or in the grave.

Continue to seek God, and He will grant you your heart’s desire.

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