He cheated so I cheated, now I want to tell the truth
- Thursday, June 2nd, 2011 at 2:28 PM
I need your assistance. My boy friend and I have been together for six years. Our relationship has been based on love and trust. I loved him dearly, until I caught him cheating on me on my own bed with some girl. I was hurt terribly.
But since this happened, I have opened up myself for other men. I have slept with twelve other men many, many times since I caught my boyfriend having sex with another girl. My trust was broken but I went the wrong way.
I need to tell my boyfriend the truth about me. But I see it as his fault. What should I do? If I tell me I know he might wanna leave me, but I love him too much to let him go. But I need to tell him the truth. How can I tell him the truth and ask him to stay? I now acknowledge my wrong.
I am such a whore.
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
You are not a whore but you brought your standards to the gutter-quite the same as your guy did. Any man who is worth some salt wouldn’t cheat on his girlfriend “on her own bed”. He is not only disgraceful but I am even surprised he’s still part of your life.
Telling him what you did will give him more leeway to continue his cheating ways and have something over your head. This man is not God and you don’t need to confess anything to him.
Chances are he may leave you and use that information against you. You cheated with “12” men in an attempt to forget what you partner did and I am sure you realized that it didn’t work. If you had unprotected sex with any of these guys you should take an HIV test.
Experience is the greatest teacher so I hope you have learnt from your mistake and realize that spreading your legs apart just because you’re hurt isn’t the way to go. If for some strange reason you decide to continue your relationship you may have to confess your “dozen” sin but you need to be sure you can face the music.
Bella
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36 Comments
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omg bella i always listen to ur advice but this one is wrong sorry to say
Two wrongs does not make a right. The past has a way of catching up to us. There is no use crying over spilt milk. you slept with twelve men have you felt any better after your escapes? There is an STD that penicillin does not cure. Are you any better than he is, or the woman you saw lying in your bed?
I can relate to your infidelity problem. Although I did not cheat with twelve men. My boyfriend cheated on me when I thought for sure deep in my heart he was not that type of person. It tore me up and broke me down and I felt like returning the favor. But it took some time and we worked through it and he has regained almost all of my trust.
My advice to you is, If you know this sleeping around is not what you want to do anymore, just stop. Noone is forcing your hand. I don’t think you need to talk to him your cheating because you don’t know if he has been faithful himself. What I do recommend is that you both talk and figure out whether this relationship is what you both want and if there is a future for the both of you and where and how do you plan to achieve it.
Now if after that talk, you both don’t have a common ground, then I think it’s time to end the relationship. The way I see it is, you have to prepare yourself for the right person, that means being of sound mind, body and soul. If you two are together and have nothing planned to take the relationship to the next level, then it’s pointless to remain together.
Hey BVINews LOL!!! based on some of the comments of these women online I think this site might need a shot of penicillin…
Seriously you don’t need to be listening to some of the slack advice you are getting online cause none of them will be holding your hand in the Clinic waiting on results if you catch my drift and no I don’t mean pregnancy. You can be trying to get back at him by doing what you think is retaliation and just your luck end up with something. Besides what kinda childish game is that you slept around and proved your a male whore so to get back at you I am going to whore myself out to every man I see and degrade myself worth in the process??? Really??? Really is that where the rationale of human beings has arrived at?? You would destroy your own integrity and body to get back at a person who may not truly love you???? Obviously you have some serous self esteem issues and listening to alot of these slack women online so do alot of them….
So why tell him now and not 11 guys ago? It may have hurt him more then rather than now…seriously. C’mon girl…you don’t get a guy back like that!!! You don’t have to put that much energy into hurting somebody else’s feelings who clearly had little regard for yours.
It sounds like the relationship is broken. Pull yourself together, pack your Damier luggage and chuck that fool tha’ deuces!!!
Mistakes made…lessons learned, time to move on!
@Everybody plays a fool,
1 was a “mistake”, 2-12..hmmm what the hell is that? DAMN comfortable in your horrible ways!!
REPENT DARLING!! If man don’t forgive you, God will.
he did it wit one gurl …..wen u atch him in da act…den why u went n did 12 guys….jus 2 think dat will hurt him…babe gurl u r only hurting urself….now u feel bad…u was to talk 2 him ryte there n then…not after u conitted ur silly act……dont u all knw dat love is no part of dis world…
From these comments u can see how SOME tola woman nasty.. talking bout don’t tell him keep it to yourself, a lot of ayo running around late night with different man, and ayo wonder why man don’t want to claim a child
@x,
@x, I here thinking the same thing I feel for the man still dating through these set of loose girls…
@x, Who told you they are Tola women who making these comments. Did they post their birth certificates? It looks like only Tola women got computers.
@x, lol
@, Anonymous your comment shows that you have no morals at all. Two wrongs don’t make a right. My advise to the young lady is to go to your boyfriend and sit for as you as you two can and talk it out these ain’t no time to be dropping it like it hot, the men ot there do not care as long as you are added to the list of been there so think about yourself and the diseases out there. Most important PRAY
@, Yous just nasty!
garbage
Umm 12 other men??? Like you need to take the fact that your a whore to your grave, that is one secret you don’t need to let out not just to him but to the world
And Bella you know d**** well she is a whore so cut the crap. 5 men I would have said ok but 12??? Nah man she need to be on a street corner, people usually get paid when they are with that many men…..All Jokes aside though on a serious note Bella you need to stop providing loose and bad advice iit has nothing with him being God. If your going to be in a relationship its not bad enough that you sleeping around with 1 man but 12 and multiple times, then you don’t need to be in that relationship neither of you do cause then you are not true to yourself or that person and there is really no sense to be in that relationship just for show cause obviously the trust and interest has been lost. You would be not only lying to him covering up your own discretions but you would also be lying to yourself to think that something is still there.
He cheated once, so you cheated with 12 men “many, many times” Was that in a week, a month? I guess you got even, huh? SMH Obviously you’ve never heard of the phrase, breaking up. Better yet stay, you two idiots deserve each other.
Dont tell him a darn thing. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. He is not your husband. You dont owe him any explanation. Did he think about your feeling when he was up in your bed screwing another woman? I dont think so. Let sleeping dogs lie.
@Zip It, This is why aids is so prevalent in the Caribbean…All those sleeping dogs and secret lovers than others have usually pass on fleas and her keeping her mouth shut puts her boyfriend and great risk of contracting something. Yes he did the same but the increase in sexual partners on her part puts her at greater risk…12 nah man she needs to fess up cause if he catches something now and beats the hell outta her what will she say then???
if he catches something, who says he going know who gave it to him if he been sleeping around as well.
if she don’t tell him he wouldn’t get hurt all would be for nothing . she would only been a whore . it was always in her ..
1-800-CHOKE-THAT-HO!!!
@concern, HA HA, LOL i like u make my day
You aren’t in love with your boyfriend else your wouldn’t have cheated with 12 men on several occassions. Maybe one mistake when you felt hurt and betrayed could have been understood but not this. You need to look deep inside of yourself and understand why you think you love your boyfriend and are behaving like this. What are you mistaking for love? What are you looking for? I don’t think you’ve found what you really want in a man in your boyfriend or any of the dozen lovers. My guess is that you want trust and love in a committed relationship. All of us women do. Your boyfriend didn’t give it to you and you’ve been looking for it from other men that your are likely using and they are using you. Your best bet is to break it off with the cheating boyfriend, decide what you want in a relationship, and most importantly be single and play the field until you find that person.
U DONE SHOULD JUS WALK AWAY CAUSE HE WILL JUS LEAVE YOU IN THE END
Fake fake fake fake faaaaaakeee. U can tell when people bored. Somebody wrote this just to be entertained by the comments people are going to post.
@x, THIS IS FAKE…100%
12 OTHER MEN! Got DAMN you worn out! Silly broad that’s what boyfriends do….eye for an eye leave everybody blind…..question? Why tell us the amount of men you slept with? You have to know we will crucify you right?……SLUT! lol
Girl, when you mad you MAD!
@It’s about you, Yep and when she catches an STD for being an idiot shes an idiot. Someone cheated on you so your way to get back is to sleep around town. What kinda asinine fool is she at the end if he breaks up with her then what is she??? A person that got back at him big wow but now no self respecting man would want because you have a reputation….People really don’t look at the bigger picture she is an Idiot with a capital I. She did more harm to herself than to him and anyone who cannot see that is simpleminded……
You need to keep you mouth SHUT…he don’t deserve to know and you might want to think about leaving that guy alone….you were silly enough to stay after he slept with someone else in your bed,,,what nasti mess you’re sharing!!! Low self-esteem is what this sounds like to me. Cheating or sleeping with how ever many men will not erase what you saw or how you feel….you need time to heal and regroup from that….the only way is OUT….the trust is gone and won’t come back…stop sleeping around with all those men girl, it’s not going to do you any good…only give you a bad name….be a lady and move on…..first take time to heal from such a horrible thing….sad, I really do empathize with you!!
Girl don’t tell him a thing.. this would only lead to more headachs in the futher..take it to the lord in prayer..only he forgives and forgets..man don’t….talking from experience.
@Trust!!, If your not going to tell him anything why stay in that relationship then cause obviously both of them do not respect each other, they do not trust each other and more than obvious there is no love in that relationshop. If they remain it is a relationship based on deceit and just for show is that something worth saving?? I don’t think so…
TWELVEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
……2 wrongs dont make a right!!!!!!!!!! u shoulda been the bigga person…sorry to hear.
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