I am attracted to my father
- Tuesday, August 16th, 2011 at 2:08 PM
I know this sounds weird and outrageous and I thought hard before writing to you.
But I could not take it anymore and decided to write.
I am an 17-year-old young lady and I am sexually attracted to my father.
It started happening about a year ago when I began developing this intense desire to be around him all the time. This grew into actual sexual desire. Whenever he talks to me or hugs me (as fathers usually do) I get turn on and have a raging desire for him.
I think he has not noticed I desire him sexually but I am pretty much sure that he has noticed that I like hugging him and rubbing against him and stuff like that. I just hope in my heart that he think is just a daughter expressing her normal love for her father.
I really want to get rid of that feeling because I love my father as a father. No, I don’t have a boyfriend because I have this strange feeling my father will get jealous.
What do I do
Ashamed
Dear Ashamed,
Young people your age normally go through hormonal imbalances which results in conflicting emotions and excessive energy.
One way is to find a safe, harmless outlet for those conflicting emotions and the surplus energy. Preferably something physical that involves discipline, like athletics. At the very least, take it out on a pillow. They don’t fight back.
Additionally get out of the house more often. Go to the library, meet new friends, develop a new hobby, join a youth group. Do things that are productive and will keep you busy.
Also talk to your parents together. Tell them you love them and how much you appreciate them being in your life. The feeling you have will pass, just make sure you don’t let it get you into any trouble.
Further, I recommend you seek the advice of a trained counselor. S/he should be able to help you manage this temporary state through to its end.
Bella
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19 Comments
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Thanks Ray: deep analysis.
She is asking for HELP !!!!!!!! In posting those NEGATIVE comments can complicate a SENITIVE issue as this. Keep her in your prayers please.The NEGATIVE comments could help her to feel worthless and may not be STRONG to deal with and could even become WORSE. SITUATIONS like this can even become SUICIDAL.
Sweety, I will pray for you. Please I beg you seek counseling and call on god. I hope that this man you call your father isn’t your biological father.
Sometimes we fail to hear a cry for help. I would suggest professional help to uncover what may be some deep hidden trauma in your early childhood or abuse of some sort that is manifesting itself as those feelings. I wish you all the best.
LMAOOOOOOOOOO!!!! @the end is near…tha comment near kill meh!!…i wasnt expectin tha at all!!……pray for her buddy!
this is naughty and abomination to human nature ….THAT’S YOUR FATHER….if that was me i’ll go to rehab!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe he is not your biological father because I have NEVER heard of any young girls being sexually attracted to a father before.
i was thinking the same thing but was afraid to post it..i dont believe he is her biological father…
It is called the “Oedipus Complex.” Ray should have known that.
Hi Jane. You are partially correct, and I am happy you brought that up to broaden the discussion here. That is why I responded to the poster “The End Is Near” with some humility. In psychoanalytical terms what is going on here is a variant of feminine Oedipus attitude or negative Oedipus complex. More precisely, in neo-Freudian psychology, it’s termed, Electra Complex.
Now, Electra Complex is described as competition between a mother and daughter for psychosexual possession of the father. Based on the complaint of the writer, this is not quite what is going on here. She is not competing with her mother here for her father’s sexual attention. It’s her on her own having sexual desires for her father. As I indicated, there is a deep psychological reason for this that needs to be explored thru psychotherapy or with a trained therapist/counselor. It would not surprise me if there has not been some inappropriate behavior on some adult male part towards her in her background, but only upon evaluation by a psychotherapist the underlying reason for her feelings will be discovered. It’s highly unlikely that she suddenly developed those feelings overnight.
Good for you.
Good pick up though, Jane. I see you have paid attention in Psychology 101 or Philosophy.
Ok I know this one aint true – someone had to put this here just to stir up comments. I fail to believe!!!!
i side this comment that person wan make the head line
REALLY! SMFH this cant be true so i will ignore
My dear, at 17, your feelings are not within the norm. There is a reason why you are feeling this way. The best way to uncover why is to get into counseling which may pose a challenge given your age and possible lack of financial resources, but you have got to get into counseling if even with the help of your church or a friend.
Failure to address these urges now risk your acting upon them. Equally important, this problem will follow you into your adult relationships with men. You are at great risk of comparing your dad to future men in your life which will lead to repeatedly broken relationships. On the plus side, It’s good that neither you nor your father has crossed the line thus far. Keep it that way, and as ashamed as you may feel, you did the right thing in acknowledging your feelings and reaching out for help. The opposite would have been unthinkable and morally and legally unacceptable.
THIS CHILD CAN GET HELP AND FREE OF COST TOO. THATS WHAT THE MENTAL HEALTH IS THERE FOR.HOPE SHE IS READING ALL THE COMMENTS, SHE CAN HAVE A NICE FRIENDLY CHAT WITH DR. VIRGENIA RUBAINE. SHE WILL NOT REGRET IT , AND TRUST ME WHEN I SAY SHE IS CHILD FRIENDLY. SHE WILL GET DOWN TO HER LEVEL. THIS IS MY RECOMMENDATION. THANKS FOR ALL THOSE POSITIVE COMMENTS. WE STILL HAVE NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS IN THE BVI
Jehovah please come and reclaim your world..!!
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