I am falling in love with a guy but we are both not single
- Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011 at 3:52 PM
I have always dated guys that are younger than me or the exact same age.
Like many of the women out there I have gotten hurt by a man.
I said to myself that I won’t ever be able to love so deeply and trust anyone again. I guess I was wrong.
About a year and a month ago I started talking to this man who is about seven years my senior ( I am 27). We became friends and would talk to each other via Blackberry all day. Slowly but surely my feelings for this guy keep growing. For some reason I believe everything that comes from his mouth.
The thing is I live in the United States and he is back home in Tortola. I know that I love this guy and I am definitely falling in love with him. We see each other via Skype, we tell each other ‘I love you,’ we trust each other, we have told each other that we are not single.
I am planning on visiting him sometime this year. However we are totally different from each other, he loves going out with his friends and I am more the home body. He is reserved and I have more of a crazy side to me. I guess I write all this to get your input on things.
Do you think we should continue our relationship and see what happens? what do you think?
Need Answers
Dear Need Answers
This seems like two people falling in love and who can eventually work out their differences but my big concern is the fact that you mention that you two tell each other that you both are not single.
And that is where it gets sticky.
If you two are not single but are falling in love with each other, then somewhere down the line someone is going to get hurt. Either your partner or the guy’s partner is going to find about what is going on and this is where the fireworks will begin.
I encourage you to look at your present relationship and also to encourage the guy to look at his own. You two cannot just go falling in love with each other when the two of you are still involved with someone else. It is a recipe for disaster.
If things are not working in both your present relationships, then both of you can get out and then start anew. But to start a relationship when you are already in one, is not a good thing.
Bella
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14 Comments
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Girl, I on Tortola and I’m telling you there are no single men! At the least every man here has a girlfriend. Most in fact, have a wife, a baby momma or two, a main squeeze and a few side-dishes, plus they out trying to hop in the sack with whatever woman walks by! If he’s single then the reason why cannot be a good one. Stick with your boyfriend in the States and forget about your blackberry love. It’s all idle chat!
Pure crap going on here, darling “needs answers”, you and your long distance man got to stop being two backsides.
If you all intend to get together then both of you need to be honest with your respective partners and break up before you continue the relationship, by distance or for real.
Come on you know that this is what you need to do! you don’t need anyone to tell you this. At least you will know if this is real or just some possible poontang on the side for your long distance man when you visit Tola
dumbest story ever
Keep that man as a telephone buddy. keep him as someone that you can talk to and be friends with. A little something on the side won’t hurt your relationship seeing that it is over seas. It just might make your relationship much stronger.
Just don’t get sexually involved because you will get hurt and I am sure that he is just using you.
I hope that you are not sending him money and he is not sending you any money. That will only make things complicated.
And girl I hope that he has no plans of coming to America to live and wants to use you for papers. Leave him alone if that the case.
Why is it men and women always want what is not within their reach? You and this guy are not in love with each other. you are infatuated with the idea of being in love. You will only end up hurting each other. Try to build on your own marriagae and stop trying to wreck some one elses.
OMG Nicely put!!!!!!!!
ok you said that you planned to visit him sometimes this year ,trust his girlfriend or wife will be waiting for u to beat yo ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gurl u so silly u say he tola and u in the states, u not single and he also taken,u didn’t mention if u and ur present man was having any problems.u sure it was ah man who hurt u? if i was in ur shoes i would hold on to what i have, don’t know what i would get if i leave this man that i’m presently with. take ur time before yo get hurt again this time yo might go crazy, please b careful!!!
“”he loves going out with his friends and I am more the home body. He is reserved and I have more of a crazy side to me.”"
HE LIKES GOING OUT AND YOU’RE A HOME BODY…but then u say HE’S MORE RESERVED AND YOU’RE MORE THE CRAZY SIDE?
if the man like to lime how he’s the reserved kind and u like stay home but u have the crazy side? THAT MAKES NO SENSE.
that’s so wrong of that woman, why she can’t works with her own man in stead of someones man? i guess according to what she said “I have more of the crazy side of me”totally crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!
No man is off limits, everyone have feeling for more than one man or woman, don’t judge
Even though you gah feelings for other people or even become attracted to them, it takes a decent human being to NOT act upon those feelings or entertain them wholesale like this. That, my friend is when you become an animal.
But then again so many people acting like dogs and cats (Where da cougars, nuh?) I guess we all just living on a damn farm.
YES I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! A DECEN THUMAN BEING!!!!!!!!!!! SELF RESPECT!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Like many of the women out there I have gotten hurt by a man.”
How can either of you get involved in a new relationship when you are currently involved in one? That’s scandalous, and quite frankly reflects poorly on both your characters. Well, you are about to be hurt again apparently by another bad decision being made. As Bella said, this situation is a recipe for disaster. Learn from your past and try not to walk down roads that can lead to more hurt. Ever heard the song: There’s no future in loving a “married man”? Well, just substitute “married”, and replace the title with a “taken man”. Then, read it a few times until it sinks in. There is no future in loving a taken man. If the day comes both of you become single, and still have the hots for each other, then go for it. Short of that, you are barking up the wrong tree. Find another man.
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