I am in love with my cousin
- Thursday, July 21st, 2011 at 12:40 PM
I am a 23-year-old female and I don’t have a really good rap sheet. I fell in Love with my cousin and we use to have a sexual relationship till he got a girlfriend about a year ago.
His girlfriend has an issue with us being friends. She has text me off and on about leaving her man alone. I have moved on but we just can’t seem to leave each other alone. He always calls or text when he is at work.
I know that the attraction is still there. To other people this may be wrong but we were not raised together so I don’t see anything wrong with it. I am pretty sure immediate family knows about us but they have never said anything to either of us.
I am confused. What should I do? I am in love with my cousin and I know he shares the same feelings because if it were different he would have left me alone since his girlfriend has an issue with it.
Lady K
Dear Lady K,
I am sorry you got yourself into such relationship but let us call a spade a spade. It is wrong, plain and simple. Such action is called incest and is actually against the law. In many societies there are rules prohibiting incestuous unions, both as to sexual intercourse and recognized marriage.
All I can tell you is to get rid of this feeling towards your cousin now. You said you have moved on, then move on. Talk to your cousin and tell him to stop texting or calling you. You need to isolate yourself from him as much as you can until this attraction you talked about has diminished once and for all.
Further, I recommend serious professional counselling for you both. Do this individually.
In the meantime, find new friends, go to the beach, go to church, find activities that will help you overcome that feeling you have towards your cousin. Also start thinking of dating other guys. I am sure there are tons of fine young men out there you could date. But not your cousin.
Bella
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34 Comments
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I hv feeling for my cousin bt she has a bf wu has 2 be my ader cousin s gf n I dnt knw hw 2 tell her couse she dnt knw m afraid. Couz she wil thnk lyk m jst. Wnt. opportunity 2 hv her n I knw he is gng 2 hurt her at de end bt ryt nw der is nthn 2 d so cn I d 2 hv her
there is a slight chance two cousins might get “funny children”, but if there is true love… sure, why not? Might be easier to move off island together if you are going to get serious with him. Just drop to have kids, maybe he will get sterilized? You should have no issue with it.
sexual relationships with family is nasty!!!!!!!!!!
Well! I think that you better quit while you are ahead, because if you and boy mess around and you get yourself pregnant and make one of those little big-head baby with the funny eyes; The kind that will scared the daylight out of you in the morning time then it will be too late.
IT’s a SIN!! if u didn’t know that he was ur cousin then u would’ve been innocent.
Dear Bella
You are wrong.
The BVI Criminal Code prohibits incest.
Incest for a man is defined as sexual intercourse with whom he knows to be his grand-daughter, daughter, step-daughter, sister or mother.
Incest for a woman is defined as permitting sexual intercourse with grandfather, father, brother, son or step-son.
Cousins are fine. Stop advising them otherwise – you’re not a lawyer.
I disagree with you! once it is a family member if plain out WRONG!!!!!!!
You’re entitled to your opinion, but the law is the law.
She needs to let her cousin go, its not right. I would not lie when I first saw my cousin , for the very first time 3 of them, I had a crush on them and I was 12 yrs old at that time. And now I don’t have a crush on my cousins any more,yes thats the first time u saw yur cousin but that doesn’t mean u have to go and sleep with him or her.And I think there’s something wrong with her parents that them didn’t told them anything well ser. they really need prayer.
LET THE TRUTH BE TOLD…………..IT IS WRONG
let it go , he has found himself a lady who is at lodger heads with you do you enjoy that type of stress? You are 23 in your prime, forget about your sexual relationship and move on a bad stain remains with you forever even if you move around it is edged in your conscience, there is no positivity to this you are infatuated this is not love,direct your energies doing other things, it won’t be worth it in the end, He would obviously still sleep with you if you are available it does not mean that he shares the same emotion with you, he did not have to take on a girlfriend he could have just shacked up with you regardless of what people say, have a discussion with yourself and weigh the pros and cons you will b amazed at the answer.
This is so funny because I found myself in this type of situation where this girl was trying check for me and I later found out that she was my cousin. I left it there and you should do the same.
well my aunty is my cousen and she is married to one of our cousen my uncle was married to his cousen she didnt even had to change her name and i know a young couple that are cousens and got married here 3 years ago
Learn to spell.
LMAO! FUNNY. LEARN TO SPELL. YOU DROP DA HARD ME BOY
are u for real maybe that’s why you can’t spell cousin poor you.lol!! lmao!!
Why are you letting about your family business like that? not cool
That type of relationship is an abomination, however there is hope, you can manage this situation. I would like to reiterate and add a few things to what Bella said. They can be applied to any other type of unhealthy relationship. I will break it down step by step for you. You have to break free from this.
1.The first step in moving forward is for you to genuinely acknowledge that this is wrong and want to change the situation.
2. Ask God to help you get rid of that unhealthy attraction. Ask for his forgiveness. Be in constant communication with God because it may/may not happen overnight
3. Limit or stop any conversation or contact with him.This is to give you time to manage your emotions and to be sure you are over him and the situation. Since this case is extreme I recommend this step.
4. Remove any text messages or any reminders of him.
5. Replace the thoughts you have about him. If he pops in your mind try to shift your thoughts on other things for eg a bible verse or story, a hobby , a funny story, a place you would like to go. Listen to positve songs and not love songs. Love songs will get you thinking about him.
Preferrably christian songs. The reason for that is that it effectively helps you to shift the focus from yourself to the one , the creator that has the power over all others to help you through this.
Also listen to messages from preachers on changing you way of thinking, overcoming situations, ungodly ties etc. You can find many of these on youtube. But please don’t get caught up in indivual preachers focus on the message. Listen also to local radio christian stations or even online (I say this because many times they may play a specific song or someone may give a word of encouragement that you can relate to).
6. Have fun, do positive things, keep yourself busy.
If you follow these steps I can guarantee you that you will eventually get over this. But remember it is a process that has to be managed. Be patient and be encouraged.
Bible verses to consider:
Romans 12:2. Psalm 19:14,1 Corinthians 6 19-20, 2 Peter 1 5-6, 1 Peter 1:13, Proverbs 25:28
PS As I mentioned earlier this can be applied to any other type of unhealthy relationship.
You are one of the few ppl commenting trying to help this young lady. Well Said!!!!!!!
EWWWWW!!! I’m wondering if this article is even true
Girl, asks God for forgiveness and quit while your ahead. At least you dont have kids for him and have to bring them in this confusion. I’m sure their is a great guy out there for you; 110% sure.
hmmmmm thats not nice at all just leave him alone let him get someone of his own you plain out nasty tooo looking into your cousin face and making love ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww just move ask god for forgiveness
The mere fact that you say he is your cousin just let it go. Move on cause he sure has move on and get himself a girl friend maybe you is the one who dont want to let go.
Question when you laiding down with him dont that thought run through your mind or your conscience don’t be saying cousin cousin to kill the moment. Please stop while you are ahead, before you get pregant
sick! ask god for forgiveness and repend and leave this guy alone!
most of our culture and society started with brother and sister children and have continued with first cousin and second cousin knowly/unknowly having children learn your history before you judge.
You didnt state the closeness of the relation. If it is not first or second cousins, to me it dont count; because if this is a BVI situation, we all know that almost everybody from here are related, except for those who have migrated here.
You are right and still going on up to today.
If Aint First Cousin.. It Aint NOTHING lol lol… But Thats Kinda Messed Up Though
ju wrong
Bella can’t be from Tortola…everybody is cousins girl.
What type of cousin First or Fifth?
The ppl who dislikes dis u all jus as nasty!!!!!!!!
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