I cannot get over my ex
- Tuesday, August 9th, 2011 at 10:55 AM
I am a 21-year-old young woman and I have a loving relationship with a respectable young man who is good to me.
My parents love him and so does my friends but I can’t seem to fall in love with him nor have sexual relations with him.
I guess you could say I am not attracted to him sexually nor physically. The more time I spend with him the more I think about my ex.
My ex boyfriend and I were together since we were 15 years old, he is my first everything. First kiss, first love, first and only sexual encounter.
My ex cheated on me several times but I stayed with him because I love him so much that whatever he does seem to be fine with me.
He cheated on me a year ago and I finally decided to break it off, But I can’t get him off my mind. My new boyfriend and I have been together for about a year but I can’t seem to have sex with him because every time we get close I feel like I am cheating on my ex even though we have been over for about a year.
My new boyfriend frequently ask if I still love my ex and I say no.
Bella please tell me how to get over my ex. I don’t think I can.
Need Answers
Dear Need Answers,
Break ups are usually messy affairs which takes a heavy emotional toll on someone. Break ups which involve cheating are particularly rough. You are obviously suffering from the emotional wounds from your break up and this is particularly difficult since you and you ex have been together since you two were 15 and he is your first everything.
Take time to let your wounds heal. Probably it wasn’t the best thing to get into another relationship with your wounds still raw but since you have done that, talk to you new boyfriend and tell him what you are going through. I am pretty much sure you two can work something out.
Additionally, it is not a good idea to rush into sex within one year of a relationship and with emotions still raw. Let the relationship grow first and get to know each other before jumping into the sack.
Good luck
Bella
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5 Comments
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One should never enter into a new relationship until their wounds have healed. You cannot move forward if you are looking backward. It is obvious that your ex had little regards for your feelings, and you settled for his disrespect by tolerating it. My suggestions to you: give your self time to heal emotionally, bury your dead, mourn your loss and get over it. While you are wasting time thinking over your ex I am sure that he is living his life not giving a second thought about you. Donot waste your new boyfriend’s time if you cannot be your authentic self with him, he deserves better and so do You. God bless.
my girl for you to have so much feel for him you ain’t sure if your bf was cheating on you dat all you going off of what you hear ppl say you need sit down think for your self talo ppl talk to f ing much
Please girl all it is you don’t know what you want. Its obvious that you aint all that, because he went out there and CHEAT on you….and how many times ?????? and now you sit there and talk nonsense out your mouth that if you have sex with your new boyfriend you feel as you cheating on your EX??? you need help and to slove the problem STAY SINGLE….. H.E.L.L.O.
Sometimes people love real hard. Although the writing is on the wall when we read the words, for her she is in pain of losing the man she loved and cannot see. She probably won’t for quite a while. As for her comment that she feels she is cheating it isn’t really that. I’ve been in her shoes and I know exactly how she feels. She is in love with the cheater. She has a hard time feeling love and having sex with her new boyfriend because in her heart she wishes the ex was the one with her. Sometimes when you love deeply it is hard to move on. Eventually she may forget the ex and be able to love another but I guarantee that she’ll have a hard time letting go emotionally. Why? Because it wasn’t by her choice to end the relationship, rather, he cheated and caused it to end. She’s still in love.
To the writer, I beg of you to consider letting this new boyfriend go and concentrate on yourself for a while. It may be difficult but surround yourself with friends,activities and work. Discover new interests. Become involved with loving yourself. There will be days when you will find you will go a while without him coming to mind. One day you will meet a man that you too are interested in, and not just your family and friends. You’ll be able to love another once you emotionally move on. Don’t rush relationships. Take your time. When you’re ready you’ll open your heart to another man.
wow shm can i just say even if ur all that u still get hand no 1 is above getting hand whether ur a dime piece or dime bag
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