I don’t want a cheater but I cannot do without him
- Tuesday, May 17th, 2011 at 2:16 PM
My boyfriend and I are together for only a year. I love and respect him. He is twice my age but age doesn’t really matter to me. In the past he has been cheated on and I feel that he is insecure.
I enjoy every second i spend with him although I can be a prick. He always asks me if I love him, I truly do.
He’s my coach, my boss, my adviser, and my lover. I also see him as a dad, one I didn’t grow up with. Lately, I realize he is always in his phone, always busy, work has him caught up, he doesn’t call or text, he gets real mad with me during training, and gets vex when I’m on the phone or when I speak to boys.
Once whilst he was in his bathroom I went through his phone seeing naked pictures of another woman, one of whom I considered a dear friend because we play for the same team. I haven’t mentioned this to him and I am afraid to. This may end our relationship and I don’t think i can do without him.
Her attitude towards me now at games and practices all changed. I must say that I defend her like she’s on some other team now. Bella, I thought of leaving, ignoring not texting, and at the end of the day it can’t work out. I won’t say I’m obsessed but I’ve never been like this before.
No one has cared for me this much, I have completely transformed. I was a shy person, always to myself, easy to cry and was always bullied. Now, I stand up for my own self, I dress properly, guys wanna go out with me, wanna be with me. But I’m not a cheating type so I just ignore them knowing I have a relationship. I need help, really, really. Don’t want any cheater but can’t do without this one.
Confused.
Dear Confused,
Your suspicions led you to invading your boyfriend’s privacy and this can be bad and good. It has steered you to conclude that your partner is not faithful hence you are now emotional and confused. There is a possibility that he is unfaithful and the possibility exists that he may not be, but you can only verify this by speaking to him. If you can work this out forgive him and set your boundaries because you would not like a repeat or more cheating.
If he is then ask yourself a few questions to help your situation. Like “do you deserve what is happening to you?” “Are you able to get someone who will treat you like a queen?” Once you can answer yes to both questions, you are on your way to moving on.
Heartbreak is not easy to deal with but time heals and no matter how much we feel we cannot live without that person, the truth is we can.
Bella
Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at [email protected] Dear Bella is published Tuesdays and Thursdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.
Copyright 2013 BVI News, Alliance News Limited. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or distributed.
8 Comments
Disclaimer: BVI News and its affiliated companies are not responsible for the content of comments posted or for anything arising out of use of the comments below or other interaction among the users. We reserve the right to screen, refuse to post, remove or edit user-generated content at any time and for any or no reason in our absolute and sole discretion without prior notice, although we have no duty to do so or to monitor any public forum. All comments posted on BVINews.com reflect the views and opinions of the commentators and not that of the management and staff. Click here for our full comment/user policy/ agreement.
The fact that he has one of your team mate NAKED on his phone then he cheating. And then she showing you another side to her then he fooling around with her. Pack sack and leave him. Keep your head up high and move forward.
Why is a coach having sex with his athletes?
My sister with GOD all things are possible. My advice to you is that he is being very very selfish. He knows that you are young and looking good and guys will be interested in you now because you have finally found yourself and have gain that confidence to walk tall with your head high. On the other hand, he already knows he’s been there done that and is still doing. Life is too short sweetie, I know just the mere fact of leaving him seems painful inside, but once you put that first step forward the pain will eventually fade away. Is this guy willing to marry you? Can you see your self with him in the next five years? Do he involve you in future plans? These are some questions to consider when looking for that ideal person to share your life with. Please try your best to protect yourself from STD’s and getting pregnant, so that you won’t have any baggage of his when you decide to leave. I really think you deserve better and is too young to be going through what you are going through now. If these are the things you are worrying about now, what else do you have to lookforward to in this relationship? Continue to trust in God, he will eventually lead you to that person who rightfully deserves you.
My dear, You are just his play thing, and he has the real woman on the side. You said he is twice your age and he is your mentor, your coach, your lover and your boss? You also see him as your dad. Are you looking for a father or a lover? He is all those things to you, but Whaat are you to him?
Have you ever asked him this question? What am I to You? This relationship is one sided. Run while you have the strength to do so
LIFE IS FULL OF STAGES AND THIS IS JUST ONE STAGE TO HELP YOU PREPARE FOR THE OTHERS, AS YOU SAY YOUR ABLE TO STAND UP FOR YOUR SELF AND NOT SHY ANTMORE, MAKE SURE YOU KEEP WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED AND USE IT IN YOUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP, ITS ALWAYS HARD TO BREAKUP BUT MOVING ON AND THE FEELING OF FINDING SOMEONE NEW ALWAYS HEALS THOSE WOUNDS. YOU WILL BE JUST FINE.
Huh i know how u feel i to is trying to get out of that kind of relationship i have never been through his phone to that extent but i do go through his calls cause i think that he lies to me alot…… i am tooooo young and good for all that so i am trying to move on…… take your time and think on the best way possible that u can help yourself
sounds to me like he is an older guy taking advantage of you. Move on spend a few nights cryin and then start dating someone closer to your age. You sounds young so you should be out having fun.
MOVE THE HEL ON.
Post a Comment