I need help with my bad-talking boyfriend
Dr. Cindy - Wednesday, February 6th, 2013 at 12:26 PM
Hi My name is Melissa and I have been dating/ living with my boyfriend for almost a year now.
I recently have been having health issues and have not been able to work. My father helped me purchase a house before I got sick but now I’m unable to work to pay the bills. So I rely on my boyfriend for my income. He has seemed to be understanding about this until a couple months ago.
He has been distant and started talking bad about me to his family and friends. I have confronted him about this and he says he didn’t mean how it sounded. And apologized. I didn’t accept his apologies.
Do you have any advice on what I should do or say?
Thank you.
Melissa
—–
Dear Melissa:
I am sorry to hear about your health issues and not being able to work, it sounds difficult. Additionally, the distance between you and your boyfriend, and the bad things he has been saying about you to family and friends appears to only compound the situation.
I can see how you may be in need of advice as to how you may proceed with the matter. First, you stated that you confronted your boyfriend.
Now, does this mean you pointed out his inconsistencies as far as stating he was okay with the financial challenges, but still he acts differently? If so, I applaud you for taking the initiative to address a subject of contention in the relationship, as beginning a dialog is the first step to resolving any difficulties in the relationship. I do suggest, however, to be open and willing to hear his side as well.
Remember, not to blame or to judge him, but rather, simply state your feelings and how his actions have contributed to them. Let him know that you recognize and appreciate the fact that he is financially supportive of both of you. Also, let him know of your concern of involving others in your private relationship and the effect this has on the relationship.
Second, I suggest pausing for a moment and attempt to understand he too may be frustrated and overwhelmed with the situation, as the household income has dropped from two contributors to one, and this it appears was not planned. This, however, does not excuse his aforementioned behavior, but may explain it.
I suggest continuing the dialogue here; this may lead to both of you being able to express yourselves without hurting the other, and be able to support each other emotionally through this difficult time.
Third and last, with respect to your “health issues”, you have not disclosed much, so I will respond as follows:
If the health issues are permanent and you may have been forced to retire early because of health issues and you are eligible, I suggest looking into social security disability benefits.
If, however, the situation temporary, or it may be a matter of your mobility and you may be able to handle it health wise, I suggest considering some form of at home employment, where you can work from the comfort of your own home. This may include, but not be limited to telemarketing and sales jobs.
How you proceed will depend on the severity of your health issues. I do hope that the above have been helpful, and as you medicate on what I have presented, you see things clearer and have a better sense of how to move forward.
Best Wishes,
Dr. Cindy
This article was posted in its entirety as received by bvinews.com. This media house does not correct any spelling or grammatical error within press releases and commentaries. The views expressed therein are not necessarily those of bvinews.com, its sponsors or advertisers.
17 Comments
Disclaimer: BVI News and its affiliated companies are not responsible for the content of comments posted or for anything arising out of use of the comments below or other interaction among the users. We reserve the right to screen, refuse to post, remove or edit user-generated content at any time and for any or no reason in our absolute and sole discretion without prior notice, although we have no duty to do so or to monitor any public forum. All comments posted on BVINews.com reflect the views and opinions of the commentators and not that of the management and staff. Click here for our full comment/user policy/ agreement.
is your boyfriend’s name on your house deed? Helping you pay your bills is noble of him, but if only your name is on the deed what is in it for him when you decide to dump him and he has invested all that money. You’ve only been dating for almost a year. If you live in the USA you can apply for disability.
Who said that the boyfrind was living with her?
Any woman who makes the choice to live and ohabit with a man without the benefit of marriage is responsible for the negatives that the man may say or think about her. He does not owe you anything. You have no good feelings about yourself Rent or sell your house and take charge of your life and get some pride.
What about the man? Why throw the blame on the woman?
And what is wrong with “shacking up?”
@ to ,,, clearly u need jesus and i am not blaming u to act n behave the way u do but i pray that u will find the truth ,,,
@ grace,
sorry for that, it was an unkind thing to say
Hey grace,
I see you missed your meds again. Mental health will soon be around to give your regular injection
Hey Doc,Im 17 and my younger sisters 16,she gets her period like clock work yet I have never.Whats taking me so long…is it because Im a boy?
Dr. Cindy,
Excellent advice. The best since u started. Bella ain’t beat you on this one
She owns the house, the guy live there for free and he still complains about paying bills? She should consider renting the house and moving with her parents until she recovers and is able to work again
@ i was hacked ,,,,prime example of what being said ,,,it also hav one a pack,, (joker) , talkin nonsence so what happen before she got sick ,,who tell u that its wasn’t she who was payin all the bills , this is the time to prove that he is a real man who not only were short pantz but long pantz also n not jus the good times man,,
@ grace,,,well put together
bad talking she how? what did he say? the man frustrated with paying all the bills. It’s YOUR house and if ayo break up all his money gone.
with addition to what Dr.cindy have said, i think that u should also seek God, u also need spiritual help understand this, there are sickness and there are spiritual sicknesses which no Docter or medication can cure only ((DR JESUS CAN )) because they are demon spirits which is behind so many death , cancer highblood presure, skin deseases there is so many affliction that the devil puts on people, remember God never had a bad day or any sickness or sick day ,we were created by him in his own image and he n only he hav our blue print so call on him there is nothing he can’t fix, plus u must not allow people to talk negative words over you, words are liveing entities and can bring harm to u ,remember long ago we use to say stick n stone can brake my bone but words can’t do me no harm ,thats a lie from the pit of hell,what the scripture says dead and life is in the power of the tongue so stop lettin people talk nagetive words over u it does matter who it is donot receive them, read (isaiah) ch;53 v 1 down ,, many time docters speak dead over people life because u beleave wat ever the docter say well who report will u beleave the docter or God words , the doc say u sick ,, God say you are heal you will live and not die in JESUS NAME AMEN,, people need to take God at his words ,,,
u need a mental doctor lol
grate advice Grace but just 2 corrections it’s doctor*** not docter and believe***not beleave, no hard feelings
i know just who you are. you look mental and so u sound mental, and so you move mental.
Well said grace
Post a Comment