If he tells me he is married, I know we need to stop but I don’t want to stop
- Tuesday, May 31st, 2011 at 11:05 AM
I am intimately involved with a young man whom I met through my friend.
From the time we met I did not think anything much of it, just that he is quite handsome.
The first time we went out we had sex. I don’t usually do this but I suppose I fell for his good looks.
However, this continued. I did not tell anyone about this. My friend happened to inform me that he is married, I was shocked. He never told me that he had a girl much less a wife. I decided to ask him and he said he has a girlfriend.
So, I just thought that my friend was not sure, because I would expect him to tell me if he has a wife or not. I do not mess with married men. I forgot about that and we continued our intimate relationship. However, a male friend of mine who saw us together told me that he is a married man.
This I cannot take anymore. Why would two different people say the same thing? I do not care if he has a girlfriend but it means a lot if he has a wife. I know I should ask him but I do not know how. If he tells me he is married, I know we need to stop what we are doing and I do not want to stop.
But it is really bothering me. I am not in love with him, I just love having sex with him. I know I should inquire, but how?
Uhhhhhh!
Dear Uhhhhh
Goodness gracious. What kind of friend would try to hook you up with a married man? Or is it a case where you hooked yourself up?
I am not going to be hypocritical because many people “get down” on the first night-but that is a practice that ends in some kind of turmoil. Two million French men cannot be wrong so chances are your “intimate” guy is in fact married and he lied about it because he didn’t want to lose his “friendly in between the sheets” sessions.
Run. And run fast. Any man who would lie about being married isn’t a man. I am almost certain that you will be able to find another unwed man who is just as good. I have researched and found that he isn’t the only “good” man around.
Good luck.
Bella
Copyright 2013 BVI News, Alliance News Limited. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or distributed.
28 Comments
Disclaimer: BVI News and its affiliated companies are not responsible for the content of comments posted or for anything arising out of use of the comments below or other interaction among the users. We reserve the right to screen, refuse to post, remove or edit user-generated content at any time and for any or no reason in our absolute and sole discretion without prior notice, although we have no duty to do so or to monitor any public forum. All comments posted on BVINews.com reflect the views and opinions of the commentators and not that of the management and staff. Click here for our full comment/user policy/ agreement.
I’m disappointed to hear her say she doesn’t care if he has a girlfriend……I find that to be very disrespectful , I myself have been disrespected in my relationship by a girl that didn’t respect me n my bf relationship n made it her business to press my bf, in my opinion women like u have no self respect n will always get bad karma in love for this kind of thinking!
WHAT THE HELL! she doesnt care that he has a gf. This ole dutty skettel. ………..a girl friend is the one who becomes a wife…………you just slack if women would just have some pride and decency iin themselves then wives and girlfriends wouldnt have to worry about their man cheatn………….you missy ARE A FULL BLOWN RACHET STINKING PIECE OF COW DOO DOO bout u don’t care. find ur own man! imagine u ain in love with d man and u would go down that road to cause hurt and cheating in someone elses relationship because u like the sex…….. WHAT I DIDNT KNOW OTHER MEN WALKING AROUND HAD VAGINAS U CAN FIND ANOTHER PINGY MISS. LEAVE D PPL DEM MAN…………..YOU WUTLIS AR-C
If you were so briliant to sleep with this guy whom you have no history of his sexual behavior I hope you were intelligent enough to use a condom. There was a time when we used to have sex because we were in love. Now sex is a means to relieve stress with any one , married or single. Never mind if we get AIDS or destroy a marriage or leave little children broken hearted because daddy is too busy playing house with his fling to play with his kids.
There is a saying about “Karma” it is a bitch and it bites bitterly. What goes around comes around in full circles.
That’s the problem with all u woman these days. All u don’t do no home work on man no more… how could u sex the man on the first date? Think of it…if the man was your husband and u find out he was cheating on u what would u have said or done… if he have a wife or girl friend there isn’t a difference…he don’t have no respect for commitment or relationships…he going keep u around until he find another one that he can sex..he done get a taste of u its only a matter of time..if is just the sex u looking it have a lot of man out there can sex u just as good an better…don’t put sex In front an make it an excuse for doing foolishness….
yea get out of dis as fast as u can.
All things which God create are good. However anything used with good intentions bring about much good. But sex when used correctly( the way God intended in marriage) can be wonderful. However, LUST( Leaves Us Shedding Tears) always leaves someone holding the tissues crying. When you fornicate the playing field in not level. Because it is sin, then the only result that can come out of it is sin(i.e. cheating, disease, lies). But in a marriage, even though someone thinks they get away with adultry, God who is a Spirit, punishes that person where not even they know why their life is falling apart. Nothing works without God, therefore, if anyone wants to have a good husband or wife, just ask God. It is written, none is good but my father which is in heaven. Mankind looks at the flesh, God searches the heart. Remember this also, when God chooses someone for us, it is never someone we want, but from my experience, it is always someone we need to compliment our personality and create balance in our lives! I asked God for a good wife and he gave me someone wonderful. I told my male and female friends to do the same and so far none of them are regretting the choice of being married also. But it is all because of God and the fact that we practice what we believe in, there is no perfection without practice. Practice being a whore(male or female) you will become a good one. Practice being a good husband or wife, you will become a good one.
Shalom!
Men tell all sorts of lies, I was once in a relationship with a man who is a player on BVI, he has his devorced wife and many other women who he plays with. He told me everything but wanted me to understand him. He attends Adventist Church and is in multiple relationships with the church women and calls them sister girlfriends. His wife do not live with him. He has three children in St. Thoman, his children’s mother is now married and moved on with her life but whenever she goes to BVI, they still have sex. Everyone in the church knew us together but he denied of having a relationship with me. He told me that his x- wife belly is too big and that she was married twice before he marry to her, she also has three children before their marriage and is now a grandmother. He even claims that she has a man with him. He promised me and she to take us to see his parents in St. Kitts but to no avail. De man hand tight, if u’re with him and want to let go, just ask him for some money. Looking back at the relationship, he was fun at first, eventhough he drives the oldest bus in BVI I still had loved him and wanted to settle with him but the man started to lie alot and I could’t trust him.
@Hurt woman,
You need to let go and move on..
@uhhhhh, People does make me laugh at this phrase sa. So much easier for people looking on to say move on funny tho is when the same people who been saying that phrase forever end up with the shoe on their foot and can’t even catch themself from the hut.
@Hurt woman,
I’m sorry but all I can say is how can you say you love a man and publically display his dirty laundry in the news for all to identify and laugh.
@Is it Love?, Shut the hell up. Why should man or woman who hurt someone they claimed to had love but was two-timing be spared the laughter. It more than ok to laugh at the hurt party tho.
Power of the coochie. Boy does it cloud your common sense. LOL
@REALITY CHECK, 1-2,
looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool good one bwoy!
Why this surprise anyone. Marriage is just a piece of paper to a lot of people. Put the ring on wifey today sneak a call to the sidething tomorrow keep her closeby
U DON’T NEED BELLA TO GIVE U ADVICE ON THAT SITUATION, U SHOULD BE HIS WIFE AND U WOULD KNOW HOW IT FEELS IF HIS WIFE SHOULD FIND OUT, JUS MAKE SURE THE DUDE ISNT MARRIED AND BY THE WAY EVEN IF HE’S NOT MARRIED AND HE HAS A GF ITS STILL A BIG DEAL CAUSE TRUST ME WHEN U GET A REAL BF U WOULDNT WANT HIM CHEATING ON U SO JUS STOP WHILE U CAN, CAUSE AS EVERYONE SAID KARMA IS A B**CH AND SOONER OR LATER HIS GIRL/WIFE WILL FIND OUT AND HE WOULDN’T WANT U NO MORE, ESPECIALLY IF HE IS MARRIED HE WOULDNT WANT TO LOSE HIS WIFE HE WOULD DUMP U LIKE TRASH INSTEAD!!!
There are many unmarried handsome guys around, find them…
And if you can’t hang out wid him again….
Ur choice, y u asking bella…It’s very clear he is married..
Y not take decisions urself abt ur life…
WAT YOU THINK, Bella will tell you, no he is nt married, keep going on??
Wat you expect…
apply your mind, if u have 1….
You should insist he take you to his home and make sure it’s his home. When there, walk around have a look. Check for female clothes and toiletries. Check the photos, the drawers. If he’s not willing to let you come over and stay awhile, move some overnight things in, cook and eat meals at his home etc., then he’s definitely NOT single.
@A test, This suggestion just sounds psycho.
She already got confirmation from TWO different persons. Plus who wants a guy who will sleep on around on his girlfriend?? She and him and are just two Lame-o’s.
@uhhhhh,
Why is the suggestion psycho? Every woman should do this with every man they date! If he’s not willing to take you by his home, have you for dinner in his home, sleep at his home, then chances are something is up!
Ladies, if you have a man that will only come by your home then refuse to take the relationship to the intimacy level.
@A test,
Strupse… That is nonsense.. I must go and search up and down in his house? If the man lie he LIE… I don’t need to go open his drawers to see if panties are in there…
THE MEANING OF RELATIONSHIP AND TRUST HAVE SO CHANGED NOWADAYS.
You need to STOP trying to make yourself feel better….you already dip and dapped… Now that you know he’s married and your words “you do not mess with married men” then why are you still rolling around in the sheets with him??? I agree with Bella….why would your friend introduce you to a married man or a guy that’s already in a relationship???? Is she really a friend??? Then again, maybe that’s just how you all roll with each other….don’t give to others what you don’t want for yourself..Karma is NOTHING to play with…it bites your when you lease expect it too…..walk away and leave that guy alone!!
@walk away…, I don’t think her friend introduced her to the guy for them to get together. You and Bella are picking up on things that aren’t even there.
QUOTE: “The first time we went out we had sex. I don’t usually do this but I suppose I fell for his good looks. However, this continued. >>>>>>>I did not tell anyone about this.<<<<<<< My friend happened to inform me that he is married, I was shocked." END OF QUOTE
What the hell are you guys reading?
Bella I does have to wonder about you sometimes you know. Girlfriend, here is my two cents. Number 1: you don’t love him, you just love the sex so it shouldn’t be that hard to simply ask the man if he married again because you heard it a second time (that can’t be coincidence), let him know you need him to be honest. Number 2: He has a girlfriend (possibly wife) so that should mean you done already have on your shoes designated for running (which I think would be the most practical answer), because i’m sure you figure out by now that somewhere along the line you getting played. Number 3: If it’s just sex you looking for, there are lots of players out there who single and love to play without all that baggage.
Wise up quick before the next article you write is about “you in love with him and he’s married!!!”
A man that lies to you about his marital status is not a decent man and I guarantee you he is leading you on and using you for his own selfish ways. You have to recognize that if he is a liar and a cheater to his wife, and trust me, he has far less concern about you, he will lie and cheat on you. More importantly, he will throw you away like a wad of trash when he bores of you and finds another girl to be his side dish.
There are many of us ladies around that have been broken down by these players (married or single a player is a player). They prey on your innocence. They have practised the art of making you fall in love with them. They know exactly what to say and how to act to make you believe you are the most special lady in their life. They spin tales about how they are Mr. Perfect and how their friends play women, in an effort to win your heart. They want to gain your trust so that you are there for them, whenever they decide to come by. Even though they are sleeping with multiple women they want to ensure you are dedicated only to them. Don’t be fooled thinking you are the only woman, they do leave you on your own at some point in the day, and chances are they are just down the street telling another girl the same lies you were just told.
Since you know he is married, and you state you will not have an affair with a married man, it is time to call it quits. Do not believe in some miracle that he’ll fall in love with you and leave his wife. Why should he, he gets his cake and eats it too. His wife is more than likely well aware that he is a lying cheat, but has closed her eyes to his indiscretions like so many women do (which is unfortunate as it is a license to continue cheating). The most likely outcome of this entire scenario is that one day you’ll be all alone with a broken heart wondering how the love of your life betrayed you. Trust me, on behalf of myself and all other woman who have been there and lived within the lie, you do not want to be a victim of the player and/or the married man. Put on your sneakers, make like Forrest Gump, and RUN!
Oh one more thing. Remember Karma and history are a Bi***. They will come back to haunt you and they will repeat themself.
what kind of nastiness u practicing? Shame on u! Go repent> he is married leave him alone> u sound young and naive. He’s using you!
DEAR BELLA IS TO MUCH 4 ME!!!!!!!!!!!! TO UHHUHH GET OUT NOW…………….. NO IF’S NOR BUTS………….GET OUT
Put yourself in his position. If you were married would you want the same thing done to you. Think about. It’s harder to handle when the shoe is on the other foot. Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t like done to you.
Post a Comment