If you do not hear you will feel
- Tuesday, January 18th, 2011 at 12:43 PM
Dear Bella: I am a 16-year-old young lady and I ran away from my parent’s home for a few months now and I have also dropped out from school.
Currently I’m staying all over the place with boyfriends and I have sex with several different guys. I enjoy what I’m doing though I know that it is wrong and it’s killing my parents to see the path that I have taken. I have sex with men for money and I just have sex for fun sometimes.
Many people have spoken to me about what I am doing to myself but it’s like I’m blinded to see it as that. I want to change my life but it is hard. I also have a problem for taking stuff that does not belong to me and the thing is I was not brought up in a bad family. I was always taught to have respect and to be decent but I’ve taken a different path.
My family on the other hand always supported me and it’s not like we can’t afford to live a good life style. The friends that I associate influenced me into this kind of stuff that I am doing today.
I need some answers.
Fallen Child
Dear Fallen Child: From reading your letter it sounds like you’re seeking attention and sadly this column is not the right place.
You have stated that you come from a good family who can afford a “good lifestyle” for you. You also mentioned that your parents and other relatives have always supported you and that “many people” have spoken to you.
I am sure these “many people” as well as your parents have advised you to cease and that you may be putting your life and others in danger of catching sexual transmitted diseases. You also run the risk of getting in trouble with the law by your admittance of stealing.
Based on the letter you admit that you are aware of what is right from wrong. You also admit you know the source of your problems: peer pressure. So madam having said all that why are you writing to me? You already seem to have all the answers.
If you cannot listen to anyone then you will not listen to me repeating the same advice you have been getting all along.
If you cannot hear you will feel.
Bella
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43 Comments
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To all those who stated that she is resideing in tola, u people fail to realise anyone can write to bella from various countries in the world. Stop making assumptions!!!!!!!!! No where in that letter stated that she is in tola.
i dont find this to be funny as adult we should guide her not laugh like fools any how young lady as jackie say go by ssd and get help i will keep you in prayers take care
What I would say to you as a young lady, go to the Social Development services Department and ask for Stacie Stout James or Ms Amory and ask them to help you to get some counselling, get yourself together and try to reconcile with your family, sign up for the evening classes at the high school because it is never to late, drop those friends of yours for if they were true friends they would not encourage you in that behavior, then find a church and ask God for forgiveness and find better friends. I would like to give you my number but not here I might be able to talk to you some.
LMAO DUMB BAT! One question, I will bet any money this sket can’t even read properly…….but i bet she can surely swallow ….geez cum dumps in TOLa lol!
@SLICK ROTHSTEIN, You are just unruly and very wrong!! When someone is calling out for help this is not the way to treat them.
@ME, PLEASSSSE coming on here with your self righteous crap….like Bella say this broad just looking attention. The only thing she calling for is a next back shot and money shot!
@SLICK ROTHSTEIN,
I bet if u were a guy and she came arround u, i bet u would just sex her off whether she can read or not huh, instead of helping learn u would just join or probaly make matters worst for her by just using her because ur just as dumb and u urself have no value and is also dumb it takes one to know one u idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@There is a God, lol well before you talk you need to recognize its SLICK you talking bout…..Grade a beef i deal with not average broads, i also dont even talk you unless your 19….i aint desperate like these fools around here who couldnt court a female if their life depended on it. Shoot I dont even get out of bed for nothing less than a DIME PIECE…….but I might have put her out on the track to GET THAT MONEY since it comes so natural……..lol she don’t need saving she needs a PIMP!
P.S. your right bout one thing……I DONT GIVE A DAMN bout her and anybody thats not on my team……*evil laughter*
This is a said story and I am happy to see that you are reaching out for help. Even as adults at times we struggle with doing the right thing. Although we know what is right it always seems easier or feel more influenced to do what is wrong. Sometimes alot of it has not only to do with some emotional void me have in our life, but also the company that we keep. May the first place you need to start is to find some new friends, some that would have a better influence on you and the decisions that you make for yourself. It would also be wise to ask your parents to talk, let them know that you want to change and would truly appreciate their help, especially since you don’t understand why you are behaving the way that you are behaving. Counselling maybe another option that you may need to consider to help understand why you have a problem or may find another avenue to express yourself that would reduce the need to do wrong and place your energy somewhere positive.
Seems like a little girl possessed by some sort of demon! That is the only thing a human can speak to that wont listen( a possessed person). Even God listens! Disciples of satan do not for they are rebellious, and this young lady has proven to be rebellious. Does she understand ” to obey is better than sacrifice?. Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. Seek GOD for tin him you can get your answers!
Peace!
@The Truth,
That girl is not possessed. She articulated her letter quite well. She knows exaclty whats she’s doing and she knows its wrong. She stated that her family as well as friends has spoken to her. She said her friends is the reason she is doing what she doing. I guess what her friends are doing and telling her, is more enticing that what her family and true friends are telling her. She dont need God to find her answer. she already know the answers. Take her lil behind home, respect her parents house and them, get her lil ass back in school, stop screwing every Tom, Dick and Harry for money and for fun.
She already said she came from a good home and good upbringing. She already recognizes that. she didnt say she got kicked out her home, she said she left. Unless there is something like abuse (sexual) or some other serious issue going on that she so skillfully left out of the letter then aint a darn thing wrong with her except she’s looking attention and is hard-headed.
My dear fallen child:
Even if you have taken the wrong path you are not too far down that god cannot pick you up if you allow him to do so. You are never too high to fall, and never too low to rise. Your lifestyle is extremely dangerous and the only one who will be hurt in the end is your self. You are crying out for help, it is sad that you donot know where to go.God is your only refuge. Please seek him before you get to the end of your self. Join a church, go back home. Get rid of your friends, because they are negative influences. You already have the answers if you look within you. May god give you the strength to pick your self up. As a therapist there is absolutely no advice I can give you. Remember the prodigal son in the bible. One day he came to himself and he went back home. May god give you the strength to accept the things you cannot change, and courage to change the things you can.
Sometimes I wonder if these letters are for real
There is NO GOD …..
watever your mind tells, its only that…
people wrongly assume MIND as their GOD, who is talking to them….
Watever u do, its ur life….GOD ( if there is 1 ) will never interfere in ur life for sure !!!
@cricket crazy,
I strongly disagree with this post. A fool will say in his heart that there is no God. And THERE IS A GOD. Do you think we just popped up into existence from nowhere? We were all created by God and it is by His grace and mercy why we and yourself are still alive today.
@ME,
We got into existence from our parents, NOT GOD …..okk
Learn from biology, how a child is born and then post it here….
dumb fool
@crikcet crazy, U Need jesus, go read ur bible u headen, u make no sence
@crikcet crazy, Only a fool will say there is no God!
Here is advise but u probablly heard it before and u probablly won’t listen anyway? Why did u bother to right? that was this response in a nutshell.
Bella, u should take all the letters seriously, as weird and attention seeking as it may sound there are people out there that do wrong know it, want help and know what to do but cant seem to get it right like addicts, Why have a column to criticize? leave that for the bloggers.
The one advice u should have given u did not, she needs professional counseling to find out the root of her actions, some persons have hidden feelings they don’t even realize until they get much older or get deep into counseling.
Tek yuh lil hot crutch tail back to yuh house. Is licks yuh need!
@Noel, lol
I guess the letter is somekind of cry for help but Bella is right in some ways.
@hm, And we can only hope that this young girl is not so deeply lost and confused that the wrong advise is enough for her to feel lack of hope and no faith in life. Let’s hope she is strong enough to love herself and not try anything to end her life. A cry for help is just that, a cry for help! I am ashamed at some of these responses. I wanted to commit suicide and tried 3 times when I was a teenager. My brother succeeded, my cousin succeeded, my uncle succeeeded, and a few friends succeeded. All of them cried for help and got berrated instead. Hold someone’s hand and support them as they try to find the right path, don’t stand in their way and chastise them!
@From a Similar Tree,
U are right
@From a Similar Tree, wow that ran across my mind all the time but the only thing that stopped me was the thought of going to hell
@From a Similar Tree, I agree with you!
Bellas awful advice and that of those asking you to find God are not what you are in need of. May I share that when I was 16 I was a bad teenager insofar as I became highly sexual, I drank, I did drugs and I treated my parents horribly. I thought that I was all grown up and knew it all. A good percentage of the girls I was in school with were the same. I knew it was wrong. I knew I was hurting everyone, and myself, but day after day I awoke with this self-centered pride that made me rebel against my parents and teachers and anyone else who tried to talk me to stop in my ways. The good news is that one day my attitude changed. So did most of my friends; but for those who were lost to the ways. Many were left with drug problems, children and STD’s. Luckily I got out of it unscathed. I am not a doctor but I honestly believe that the raging hormones of a teenager can truly create havok on thier minds. I wanted to hear my mother, I wanted to walk into her arms and apologize and stop hanging out with the “bad girls” and focus on my studies. But something wouldn’t let me at the time. You are on the right track in writing this letter and expressing your problem. You do know what to do and all you need is to find one or more persons you are willing to trust and who will be non-judgemental to talk with and confide in. A councellor would be ideal if you can be mature enough to know that they are listeners and only of good if you truly confide and let your heart and pains flow. Your own words will be your healer. You need to convince yourself that you are a beautiful wonderful and unique child of God who deserves to be happy. Depending on where you live an organization such as Big Sisters may be something to look into. You will have to trust in others though. As you find yourself starting to work out of your “bad ways” and control your emotions it would be good idea to start giving some love to others that haven’t asked for it so that you may feel unconditional love returned. Volunteer a few hours in an old age home or an orphanage or even an animal shelter. Learn what it’s like to feel appreciated. Once you know that type of love then casual sex with boys, selling your body and stealing others property won’t be actions to get attention anymore. You will know your own true value. I hope that you take the next step to finding peace in your soul and enjoy your life.
@From a Similar Tree, i like your comment, except the part about her not needing the advice of finding god, gods way of living is the total opposite of what she is doing and some religion may do her good whether it from a christian, reading the bible on her own, going to church or seeking a pastors help.
For with god All things are possible.
@From a Similar Tree, this is the best intervention strategy I have heard in a very long time. Man if I knew who you were I would have given you a great big hug. I am so proud of you.
@From a Similar Tree,
I applaud you on your advice, very well said. Though…
“You need to convince yourself that you are a beautiful wonderful and unique child of God who deserves to be happy”, you say this yet you stated from the beginning that “Bellas awful advice and that of those asking you to find God are >>not what you are in need of.<< "
How can she convince herself to be a child of God and NOT go to her Father [God] for advice and help when she is in need of it? Who is better to help her than the one who created her! When we can't figure things out the Lord says in Proverbs 3:5-6 that "He will direct our paths".
@from a similiar tree
Its too long to read, crop it first and then post it again….
You may have enough time, but people dont have
@From a Similar Tree, to clarify my advice about not hearing people talk about God is that she is but sixteen and telling her to sit and read a bible is not going to help. Reading the bible and hearing the Word of God are not necessarily advantageous to those who do not understand the Word. Understanding God for her is learning to love life, her life. You cannot push people into the path of God, they need to discover Him on their own. Once she gets her head out of the mess it is in, through a good councelllor or friend and more importantly giving of herself unselfishly and receiving true love in return, she will be more aware of the goodness in life and see the world through fresh eyes. God lives within each one of us, we just have to open our hearts and listen to our instincts that tell us right from wrong and keep us directed. The physical changes in a teenage body are sending mixed messages and cloud that voice. As I said I was once in a similar state of mind and I would like to help her work calmly through the fog so that she can hear rather than rebel.
@From a Similar Tree,
Do u think any of the whores read bible…???
This have to be some made up story just to see if DEAR BELLA would post it… this girl don’t want help..she know everything she doing is wrong but looking advice?
@john john, even if this is a made up story, i am sure there are really live situations just like this story. you don’t know one of them might be reading this. i think bella was very cold and could have given better words of advice. sometimes we know what we are doing is wrong but we continue to do through forces not of our own. have always done the right thing.
I’m sorry to say, but as Bella say you already answer your own question, because is not that you are not listing to any body you just don’t want too, but I can tell you that you most listen to God and make the bible to be your only guidance for now and ever. You won’t belive how much peach you will find, and the type of sweet child and woman you can be. Stop doing what you are doing now before is too late, but in God world it is never too late to start over again fresh as how your parents race you up, don’t be a follower, be a leader, lete your friend learn from you.
GOD LOVE YOU
….if u know better you must do better!….simple!
lol bella straight to the point…..
@ LOL straight to the point……..
NO the Writer is the one STRAIGHT to the POINT and Bella could not Deal with that SAD!
Bella that was harsh. Young lady the path to healing is admitting your problem. And you have done that. Now what are you going to do to solve the situation.
First go back home and ask your parents to forgive you.
You must also forgive yourself for what you have done
Ask God to also forgive you (this should be done first) Remember Jesus loves you no matter what you have done. HE does not like sin, but He is willing to forgive you. That is why He died on the cross. Seek a church where you can get the help needed.
I pray that all will go well for you. Do not give up hope, your life can change for the better.
Hmm…this bella needs firing.
@., lol……..
@., I AGREE THAT WAS A TERRIBLE ADVICE
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