In love with three guys, what do I do?
- Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011 at 9:58 AM
I am 19 and have a boyfriend whom I loved for as long as I can remember. A few months back we broke up and I started a relationship with a guy I met during the carnival season of 2010.
The day after we met we had sex. I instantly fell in love; it was like love at first sight! He lived in town and me on the country side, but he made it a point of duty to come up as often as possible. One day like most relationship I got a call from a girl who claim that she is his girlfriend and they live together.
I was hurt and alone and found myself in a relationship with my first ex-boyfriend whom I dated while I was with my present boyfriend. I love him but he was more of a rebound to me. He fell madly in love with me, something I wanted to avoid because I loved my present ex more.
The whole point is am in love with three guys whom I don’t want to hurt. Should I go on with it with the hope that none finds out? Or should I tell the truth even if I know am hurting them?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Being in a relationship with three men is not healthy. It is a disaster waiting to happen and will cause more pain than joy to you and the men involved.
Usually when people become involved in relationships so quickly after ending one, it is because they still hurt from some of the experiences they’ve been through, have unanswered questions or have not allowed the heart to heal.
You could also be trying to hold on to something that you had while moving on. Whatever the reason, you are harming yourself in the process. Take time to heal and do a little soul searching, then you will have a better idea of whom and what you want in your life.
Bella
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33 Comments
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Sigh! I hope she only mek this up to see what ppl would say…. cause that aint healthy at all!
My dear child, you are a nineteen year old immature girl who doesn’t know what true love is all about. You met a guy and the next day you had sex with him. What did you know about this guy? Did you asked him his sexual history? Has he ever been tested for AIDS? Did you both used protection? Have you asked him about his family relatonship? I bet you did not asked any of these questions. You are starving for affection, and you will take it from anyone or anything who is willing to give it to you. You donot have a clue about the consequences of your actions.
When I was your age I couldn’t wait to grow up, I am older than you are, and sometimes I wish I could be an innocent child again. My child take time to enjoy your teenage years. You are definitely not in love with three guys, You are infatuated with these guys, and sex has you blinded you can’t see the pit you are headed into.
You should be on a college campus stimulating your mind. Stop selling your self short. Get some self respect and ambition. Men will not respect you if you do not respect your self. Stop bing a frizbee that is tossed from one to another. Fall in love with “YOU” for a change, and you will have no need to be in love with three guys.
THIS BITCHES WITH ALL THEIR NEGATIVE BULL NEED TO GO SORT OUT THEY LIFE…..CAUSE THEY TALKIN LIKE THEY AINT HAVE WOMEN IN THEIR FAMILY. GIRL LOOK TO GOD ..STOP WA U DOIN AN THINK ABOUT UR LIFE AN WAY IT GOIN IF U CONTINUE WITH THAT…THESE OTHER BROADS NEED TO CHECK THEY SELF AN THEY LIFE !!!!! DEUCES>>>>>>
She just needs a good pimp …:)
I can say I was something like you and I can tell you the consequences are not nice. Seek God first girlfriend.
Well girlfriend all i can say is pray and ask GOD for guadiance , Ask him to show u the way to go you need help u only 19 and its not really healthy .
Do not take on the comments that calling u EASY cause u know wat the same ppl who doing that have MOTHERS , SISTERS GIRL CHILDREN and some of them is WOMAN and it have a saying ….when you have glass window do not throw stones and again look in the mirror b4 u look at some one else .
When people write to Bella for help i find its rude when ppl make stupid sense less comment to me u cannot say something good say nothing
@????, Yeah like this CRAP you here peddling! This girl don’t want nothing to do with God……she needs a PIMP!
@Mya Lansky, Do you have one ,does your mama have one . ppl make mistake in life she here cause she need help
@????, Trick…I AM ONE…..and my mama never did S**T for me except push me out! This broad need to get at me …….i will make her rich! SMFH! Dumb broads just out here SKETTING for free….no frigging AMBITION!
@Mya Lansky, LOL @ no frigging AMBITION!! ah tellin ya
Choose life if you have three and each of them have at least two and at least one of the two are cheating with another man who has two you are possibly having an intimate relationship with about 15 plus persons. AIDS is not a joking matter, so I suggest you choose life!!!
Some of u ppl don’t have sense towards helping the poor girl, just take a break from all of them an see wat u want
Young lady, at times when you are at a young age. There are raging hormones and bad judgements in decisions in having different relationships. Just remember that when yu get to a certain age and look back. You want to kick yourself. Brush yourself off, look at where your life is turning. The only answer to your life is “Jesus”. He will never lead you astray. When others will judge you for making mistakes in your life. Remember this, that christ forgives.He knows our pain, suffering, anger adn even to the dilenma you having right now in your life. Just go to the lord in prayer. And if you have not done it before, I encourage you to seek the father. He will listen. God loves us and you need to know that you are love by the “master of all creations”. Who has sent his only begotten son to save us from sin that we may have eternal life. I don’t know who you are, but I wil pray that the lord will intervene in your life. Life is short. We tend to believe that when you’re yong that we have the rest of our lives ahead of us. Sister, know this that the “lord of lord, king of Kings” never sleep and he cares for us. And promise that he will never leave us alone.
Take care…..
my girl keep all don’t tell them nuttin what you don’t know can’t hurt you
@hill side bill, you sound so darm foolish and talking like you dont have sense, young lady take some time and think wat you are doin to yourself and more over these young men, we cannt have our cake and want to eat it to.I pray and hope you think about this be good my sister
@hill side bill, i with u She needs to love them ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL and don’t forget the condoms.
@real, I second this lol!
What does love have to do with lust! How can you give up your body so freely with no committments and talk about love. You don’t know nothing about love. Any woman who can give sex for free will have men checking for them. You got some nerve coming on here asking bella what to do when you already have the feeling inside you telling you what to do. Take your mind from confusion and being mental and stop using your body like a free rental!
Shalom!
First off, you need to re-evaluate your life. Your body is your temple, you shouldn’t be going around having sex at 19 on the first date. And my guess is that all 3 men had a piece of you by now? Little girl, I’m sure you’re with someone around the same age as you, and I can tell you sweetie, those little boys do talk. I’m sure they’ve already mentioned to a friend how quick and easy you were. Take a step back, you’re worth more than you know it. I don’t know what’s been going on in your life, but I do know that you need to slow down. Real men look for women of quality. Women they can take home to their mom and wife. I’m sure you want to have that meaningful relationship, so don’t rush it hun. You’re only 19, enjoy your youthful life. Worry about college and your future, not about falling in love. And if you are in love, and want to settle down, then you need to get rid of two of those men. Take time to yourself. If you truly love your ex, them you need to focus on making things right with him and TAKING IT SLOW. Don’t head down the wrong road and end up like a lot of those teen moms we have here that are raising kids on there own. Don’t fall victim to another *uck and bounce. You may not feel like it, but you’re so much more than you realise. I hope you read my comment and take heed. Blessed love, you’re still worth it in God’s eyes, control your situation.
WELL YOU MIGHT AS WELL KEEP GIVING IT UP BECAUSE OF THE MILEAGE AINT NOBODY WANT THAT NOMORE…..LORD IT PROBABLY AINT PRETTY NO MORE
19 and sexin off 3 MAN… and then woman want man to respect them.
that thing have some milage on it meson..and u just 19
girl you got no sense
Finding Mr. Right – You hit the nail on the head!
girls like u grew up with out a father figure or BAD parenting. You are in dire need of emotional comfort and from the first three lines of ur story i can tell u cant even begin to smell love comin. You are naive and need guidance, not a relationship with another man. NO man will respect u the way u deserve if it only takes 1 day to sleep with u lol. then thats all its gon be till he tired of u n u get treated bad all of a sudden. make urself worth something and believe that u r worth somethin n let a guy prove himself but ryt now u just lookin da fool n i got to be harsh cuz u 19 frikkin years old man.
@iSlaNdBoI!,
I do agree with everything you’ve said. However, one thing in particular I don’t agree with, that’s your first setence about “girls like u grew up with out a father figure or BAD parenting.” Totally disagree with you on that. I myself grew up without a father figure and I didn’t turn out that way. My mother guided my down the right path and because of her, I have values on my own that would never make me degrade myself like that. You can have both parent’s in a child’s life and still some turn out the worse. A parent can teach a child all they need to know about life, love, sex. etc, but at the end of the day, the decision lies solemnly on the child. So not having a father figure is no excuse, sometimes its the company the individual keep and her mentality. Trust me, my mother did a damn good job raising me, and I’m 23 in a 7-year relationship and not pregnant persuing my masters degree. V-A-U-L-E-S is what makes a person character! These kids these days don’t have values, they just do as everyone else is doing. Lacking the fact that diseases are going around.
@To islandboi,
I agree with u 100%
You sound easy.One fling from genital warts.
@exiled, i want kno who she is so i cant get a do…lol wa ya say
BAD A$$!
Gangbang? Sounds as though that would be fun.
First off, the feeling you had after having met the guy for one day and having sex was lust. Lust brought on by pheremones of the act of sex!. Second, bouncing around between relationships with boys so quickly indicates you are a needy girl with no idea of who you are and, third, you have no love for yourself! As a mature woman behavior like this from a young girl makes me sad. Why are you so focused on being in a relationship and throwing yourself into false love? Your priorities are wrong? What are you doing to love yourself? To respect yourself? Are you in college or learning a life skill that will help you to be independent? Are you challenging yourself and living to your full potential? I somehow doubt that you are doing these things because your actions are immature. I’d bet you had an absent father in your life and are seeking love from a man in replacement. Girl, don’t set your life up for regrets, broken hearts and failures. If all you seek out of yourself is to be a part of a couple, if that is the main importance of your being, you will never find happiness. At this rate the next move will be to start popping out babies in a mad dash to catch a man. Stop all this silliness now. Focus on yourself. Utilize your brain. Get an education. Learn a life skill. Take up an acitivity or two that is fun and allows you to meet lots of people, both young ladies and young men. Learn the value of loving you, to the max. I guarantee you, when your eyes sparkle because you love yourself and your life, and when your smile is bright because you are happy doing what you enjoy, and when you are laughing because you are in good company of many friends who love you for who you are, then you will meet a guy who is more into who you are and who will be able to fall in love with you and not have you as a sex toy on the side. Most importantly, YOU will love yourself and choose a boyfriend and possible husband because he’s compatible with you intellectually and emotionally more than just physically.
@Finding Mr. Right, Yeah ….a learn a life skill…….like GAGGING LOL REAL BOOM TING!
Choose one. End of story.
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