My best friend is in love with me
- Thursday, March 24th, 2011 at 12:07 PM
I met this guy eight years ago when I was 19 and he was 27(I am now 27 he is 35). He told me that he had an 11 year old girl and that he had her when he was in high school.
We were just friends and remained friends. We both got married since and I had two kids. Both of us have since been divorced. We were in touch for the most part during our marriages but began talking more frequently after the divorces. We always called each other sweet little names.
One day when he called me by a certain name and I responded. He told me that I should be careful what I say because he always liked me and still do. Now he is asking me to be his significant other! I like him but at the same time scared that I may be a rebound girl or that our friendship gets messed up.
What should I do?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
You need to take time out to examine your feelings towards your friend because in your letter you use the word ‘like’ and never ‘love.’ Many people think that there is no difference between like and love but there is a difference. Like and love are two completely different things.
When you like somebody your just getting to know that person and trying to figure out if there is something more between the two of you. Like is not as deep as love is, Like is just like making friends. You don’t know if the two of you are going to grow to be the best of friends or discover that you really don’t like that person as much as you thought you would. I don’t really think that you can lump together like and love because they are so different.
Take into consideration friendship is generally a solid basis for a good marital relationship. You always hear people who have been married to a long time refer to their spouses as their “best friend.”
So take your time as you go through this, take into consideration the length of time you have been divorced. Divorce is always a messy thing and it leaves many scars. Let the scars heal because you don’t want to bring in baggage into any new relationship.
Bella
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6 Comments
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NOT TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO BUT 11 YEARS AGO MY BEST BEST FRIEND SAID HE LOVE ME AND I LOVED HIM TO AND WE STILL GOING STRONG EVERY NIGHT / DAY HE COME BY ME WHICH IS EVERY DAY ITS LIKE NEW LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN AND ITS NOT ABOUT SEX HIS MARRIED
@GIRLY,
Imagine you’ve been his wash cloth for eleven years. have you ever thought what it would have been like if you were his wife? You don’t impress me as a very intelligent woman. You seems like some one settling for the left over that falls from the table. Is that all you are worth?
Dear Anonymous:
You said your best friend said that He likes you. You never used the word love. Don’t get confused with both, they have different meanings. Don’t rush into bed with your best friend, sometimes best friends make bad bed fellows. Take time to know your friend before you rush into his bed.
You said you’ve known each other for eight years. What do you really know about each other? some times people marry and live with each other all their lives and still don’t know each other.
Wy don’t you take the time to date each other, and see where it leads.
i agree with bella 100%
I totally agree with Listen to your heart. I was in the same situation and told my best friend that I dont think we could be more than friends. I love him too much and know him too much to be together. Take it slow and enjoy each other’s company!
I’d say if you are single and you and your friend get along just continue to enjoy his friendship and company. Tell him that you are happy being friends. If one day you feel the relationship has naturally progressed into the realm of coupledom then go with the flow. But don’t force your feelings. Sometimes when two friends try to make things happen it can ruin the friendship.
Bella’s explanation of the difference between like and love should be noted by the men who constantly like to meet ladies and throw out the love word within 5 minutes. It really works against you and if we ladies were any a bit interested before, you lose us completely in throwing about the word “love” so nonchalently.
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