My boyfriend never compliments me
- Tuesday, March 8th, 2011 at 11:54 AM
I have been in a relationship with a guy for three years and eight months.
I can’t remember three compliments that he has given me in these years we have been together. To me, it wasn’t a problem, until I went through his face book profile and saw the number of compliments he is giving to this particular girl.
Since he wasn’t anywhere near me when I saw these, I wrote a message to his inbox telling him how I felt about his compliments to this girl. I was hoping he would at least talk about it, but he completely ignored it. When I mentioned it to him, he told me that he ignored it because I only want to cause a fight, and is taking a little thing and making it a big thing. He told me that I am just being jealous because he compliments his friend, that the girl is just his friend and he see no reason why he can’t compliment her.
Bella, I sure don’t mind him complimenting his friend, but what is hurting and is being a bother to me is the fact that he never compliments me, his girl friend. I am wondering if I am asking for too much of him.
I look forward to your response.
Concerned
Dear Concerned
Compliments are important because they strenghten a relationship. You feel on top of the world when the person you love tell you are a beautiful, sexy, intelligent and so on. They make you feel you loved and admired.
He knows it would make you happy, yet he makes no effort. Hmm. Giving a compliment isn’t hard. It doesn’t cost money or require sacrifice. I wonder how he would respond to you needing something that did require a bit of effort on his part?
You’re not asking him to lie. If he really loves you, why can’t he vocalise that?
You are not asking to much of him. All you want to know is how he feels about you; your looks, your intelligence and so on. If your boyfriend doesn’t compliment you, he is not really into you.
You need to seriously rethink your relationship with that guy.
Bella
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25 Comments
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Hi all–
I dated a man for about a year and a half who did not pay me compliments. He was easy to have around– played beautiful guitar.. cooked great on the grill.. etc… I thought he was pretty cute– about 6 years older than I — He told me, a couple times, that he “loved me too”– but never anything beyond that. Oh, I have great kids– State the obvious , but that is my kids– htye are grown up–
I am not my kids.
I got really hurt one day when a patient came into the office who (a married man, btw) said nice, complimentary things to me– like how helpful and careing I was. It turned out he knew my BF and then he went on about how lucky my BF was to have such a beautiful woman etc– He said more in that brief encounter than my BF did in 2 years.. WAAA WAAA WAAA such a baby I am!!! right guys??!!! but !! let me tell you, if you do not tell your girl, even the obvious, that she is sweet, or pretty, or has soft hair, or makes yummy cookies– the best in the world ever in fact– or that you like that shirt on her– etc– she will eventually feel bad. It is human nature. Do not be afraid to say nice things. WE had the most wonderful sex life– and he was a sweet quiet sleeper– But alas– it is over. I did tell him my concern about all this and he said ‘but I tell you I love you”– oh, and sad but true, he neither ever brought me anything special– like a flower or anything that said ‘I was thinking of you’– I am the most non-materialistic person I have ever met– I don’t need anything.. but I do hope the man I love thinks about me in a way that he might realize it is important to share– as in let me know!!! thats all. I am sad. I love him still. But a guy like that is very much like having a pet. cheers and best wishes to all. eat well. exercise. take care of yourself!!
When was the last time you complimented your man? Men love to have their ego stroked just like women do. Its a game of give and take. Be careful of what you write on facebook, it cannot be retracted.
To all you women who feel unappreciated, you worked hard to get your relationship why not work harder to make it work. If its worth having, then its worth fighting for.
Always the man fault, Do you ever compliment him ? how often you told him how lucky you are sometimes when he does wonderful things for you. Man some of you ladies all for yourself, when was the last time you ask him out for dinner ? instead of him taking you out, men are special too you know. Lot of you woman beleave that once you give him some s– then he should give that woman the world.
Simple things like that cause an relationship to break, everything else is fine but that one thing is not. Some other man on the street now start compliment you and you thing he is sweet,down the line now you start sleeping with him. Dont get me wrong a little compliment is ok ,but ask yourself if you does the same .
Child no need to fight with your man over this one. It has been my experience that some men a just slow to appreciate what hey have and fast to appreciate what they don’t have. When a man already considers you theirs they forget to continue to be the impressive, caring and attentive gentleman that wooed you in the first place; but play this role quite well with others. They like how they appear to be to others but forget how they appear to be to the one that really matters; so while other ladies think they are so caring and giving, that’s all just apart of the outdoor show as I Iike to call it.
You need to let him know that it does not bother you that he compliments the other girl, but you would like to know if there is anything about you that he would like to compliment. What does he love about you, you wont mind hearing him saying it outloud from time to time. However, if you were happy before without the compliments then you should continue to do so, not because you realized that he is treating someone else different that means you should create a problem. Problems should not be created in a relationship because of jealously of another, but because of a genuine issue between you and your partner. Just like every man is made different, every relationship works different; so how a man may behave in one relationship will change in another. No matter what others on here may say or think, what works for you in your relationship, works for you and that’s all that really matters.
REALLY? Am I the ONLY one going to say it………..REALLY…..o.k. Couple questions….are you impressive in bed? The kitchen? Are you a good conversationalist(I know this is not a word)? Are you a looker, a fox? Or are you a blocker?……explanation of a blocker is a chic that looks good……from a block away. Do you dress sexy? Or like Mother Theresa? Do you keep your look and shape up or you shape like a cupboard and look like Lebron James………..If your answer to atleast five of these questions is NO then………….WTF! SCRAM and stop looking compliments and just be glad he still sleeping with you…….GEEZ!
@I’m on a drug, it’s called CHARLIE SHEEN, Wow, Why don’t you post a picture of yourself! Actually, it is not necessary we all know that you are ugly from inside; and honey, that is the where real beauty lies. Even if the women is shaped like a cupborad and looks like Lebron James there are people who will truly love her and she has no reason to stay with anyone who treats her as less than the most beautiful woman in the world. I’m sure by your response that you go through women like a box of chocolate, thing is, you think you are all that being able to love em and leave em. Well know what? You haven’t the ability to catch a single woman. Once they figure out you are nasty they wouldn’t want you around. GEEZ!
@Agree with Bella, AND THEN YOU WOKE UP! LOL!
@I’m on a drug, it’s called CHARLIE SHEEN, reading ur comments i realize u are jus a kid
That’s the stupidest response I’ve ever heard.
Girl, listen to your gut. If he can’t compliment you over his female friend, obviously there’s something wrong. Dump him.
Wat if u grl dont look like he want to compilment u…
Maybe he has no interest in u…he is just timepassing with u…
Give it a thot
As a man I can tell you that it does in fact come naturally. I feel good telling my woman how beautiful, sexy and intelligent she is and how complete she makes me feel. I do so not only because I mean every word because she means that much to me and more……
@Victor, Now thats what I call a good man!
@, LOL SUCKER FOR LOVE A** BROTHER….lol SOFT…you going be the one to commit suicide when your broad hang you…..
@I’m on a drug, it’s called CHARLIE SHEEN, u sound so foolish the thing i realize no woman aint want ur a** so u hating shame lol lol
@Victor, It’s nice to know that men like you exist. I’m a married woman of 10 years and I can’t remember the last time my husband complimented me, took me out, or did anything to show his love or respect for me. Ladies be extremely careful who u say I do to…..
@kay, i agree i am not married but want to some day……………. and even being in a relationship they forget about keeping it alive
they take their partners for granted.it is very common, and they would say we are just making a big fuzz out of it. and when you do the same to them, they turn their attention to other women.This world is just a one way love affair.
@Most men are insensitive,
As if girls dont do the same to guys??
@crikcet crazy, BROADS! LOL
I have to agree with Bella on that one. Compliments should come naturally for those we love and care about. If he can woo another girl with his words then why not you. I think you should take Bella’s advice and think about what this relationship will provide you in the future. If you cannot forsee yourself being treated as a queen then you should consider moving on and finding someone who will bring joy to your life. It’s your life and you deserve the best. Why stick around and waste years to find yourself still unhappy and in a miserable relationship with a miserable man. Life is short.
To the lady who doesn’t want to leave because of the children. You deserve to be happy also. If your husband is out mixing in extramarital affairs and you are home feeling sad and alone your children will see that and learn from your ways, Do you want your daughters to learn that they are not to be treated with love and respect from their husbands? Do you want your sons to learn it is ok to be unfaithful husbands? It’s wrong for you to remain. You are harming yourself and your children. Your emotional well-being is just as important and what he is doing is termed “emotional abuse”. If you love him, then communicate and ask him to work together to repair your relationship. You both loved each other enough to marry so you should be able to give it a go. If it is an unrepairable relationship (and that means your state of mind too) then move along. He can still be a father to his children but you won’t have to have your self confidence destroyed and feel like a failure of a woman and a wife. Take back your womanhood! Be strong!
@Agree with Bella, SOUNDS LIKE YOUR VERY EDUCATED………………………………………..AND LONELY!
@I’m on a drug, it’s called CHARLIE SHEEN, Try highly educated, wealthy, enjoying life to the fullest and in a strong,loving relationship with my husband and child. You,on the other hand, sound extremely uneducated and, from your comments above: you have no respect for women; are scornful of men who have found love; are emotionally detached and have considered suicide most probably because you were once in love and your lady friend discovered you weren’t good enough for her and left you crying in the wind:-0 This has left you bitter and cold. Instead of recognizing your own failures and downfalls as a man, you choose rather to lash out at women. Because of your own insecurities you are doomed forever to mask yourself with a chauvenistic attitude and desperate need to be known as a player. Unfortunately, on the inside you are actually scared of women and scared to love because you cannot handle the pain of a broken heart and are terrified that another, like your lost love, will hurt you. Maybe you should try growing up, moving on with your life and hey, if you have to, switch to the other side of the fence!
i have to say thank you because i have the same problem with my husband and his name is always calling in outside relationship when ever i thing about it iwant to just leave but we have 2 kid’s under 5yrs i know how it make’s you feel
@thank you bella, PLEASEEEE………AINT NOBODY ELSE TRYING TAKE CARE OF NO OTHER MAN JACKET…….you between a rock and hell……..
@I’m on a drug, it’s called CHARLIE SHEEN, sound like u get nuff bun lol lol and u will keep getting cause when woman c the kin d of person u is u don’t deserve a good woman or relationship thats y u so bitter i understand but i don’t feel sorry for u lol lol lol lol
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