NICE GUY: Can long distance relationships work? Yes, if you’re a big dreamer
- Friday, July 23rd, 2010 at 1:28 PM
Can long distance relationships work? Yes, they can if you have tracking device embedded deep in the sex organs of each individual and a satellite video manning every move, or a jet to visit each other at least twice a week.
Otherwise, it cannot work.
Yea, I can see them nodding their head saying I am talking sh** again. But you very well know a long distance relationship cannot work, so shut up. It is over even before he/she flies or swims overseas. Give it two weeks for a male and six months for a female.
The fact is that we all need some physical intimacy, especially for men. The sweet talks on the phone, emails every day, the affectionate emoticons on MSN and Facebook, aren’t enough. It gets boring and ordinary after a while.
We need to see, touch and feel all the time, and that’s where technology fails. Yes, it is possible to strip naked in front the cam and flash your boobs and get swef, or talk nasty on the phone but that still ain’t enough. We need to stick our bat in a wicket. Watching you doing a mini-porn show does nothing much for us because many of us masturbate every day watching porn online, so what’s new? I mean we see you naked most of the time when we’re together, so it’s just stale. We’ll get off more with a girl we’re seeing for the first time.
In time, we grow bored of hearing the same *^&^%&^: “how was your?”, “Are you ok?”, “I had a good day”, “Baby, I miss you”, “Baby I love you”. Shut the 8** up. That’s what some of us want to say sometimes. Imagine doing that for two years?
Everyone cheats in a long distance relationship. That’s a fact. If cheating does not take place, she will dump you for a next man or woman, or vice versa. So let no one fool you.
I remember I had an ex long ago. We were so in love. When I was leaving we cried. I thought my world crashed but we vowed to stay together until she can come over. My friends knew I was depressed but told me to stop because it was unnecessary, and that soon I will meet some hot chick to screw.
Of course, I protested, saying that’s bull*** and that I love my girlfriend; I would never do anything to hurt her. Well, it turned out that my friends were right. Less than three weeks later – after burning hundreds of dollars on phone cards and daily web cam stripping – I met a chick. We had sex and my girlfriend was history. Well, I did not tell her. However, she cheated too. I heard rumours shortly after I left that her granny caught her screwing a long-time ex of hers. I asked her about it and she denied it (of course you know women lie lol). Well, she later confessed she kissed her ex and nothing more. (Oh please; I’ll believe women when donkey grow wings).
It’s just that long distance relationships won’t work. I know a lot of people who are cheating in long distance relationship.
Today, however, I have a greater message for everyone: do not trust anyone who tells you that their girlfriend or boyfriend is overseas and they don’t think it’s gonna work. Most times that’s a trick. They will date you seriously and three years later when that so-called ex is back, the fire is re-ignited and you get dumped. It happens all the time.
A lot of people are going around telling people they are single, simply because they have a secret long distance relationship. And of course you fall victim because such cheaters appear to be truly single – but they are far from that.
So if you’re thinking about maintaining ties, stop fooling yourself and wasting time. I know it is summer when a lot of people reunite, screw and go back to the same crap, OR the time when people are preparing for a long distance relationship because their lovers are flying out later this year to start school.
But enjoy it while it lasts because even before you take the plane, his willy wally is already dipping into some sauce or her butter cup already has a spoon in it.
Alternatively, either may be getting friendly with a substitute so guard their feelings.
So peeps stop fooling yourselves about making it work. My advice is that if you love each other so much, prepare to move together and make a life. One in and one out won’t work.
A long distance relationship works when either party agrees to date anyone until they meet again.
See ya next week!
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34 Comments
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First i’d like to ask why there is even a Mr. Nice guy column? Where are the editors? And I’d like to say if your man or woman isnt intrested in anything other than SEX, Sex and MORE Sex, Like nice guy over here, they will leave u, otherwise if you have an honest, Respectable man or lady with integrity, and ur both in it for the same cause he has no reason to leave u.
This article was very ignorant, sorry that’s just my opinion, sue me….
i was in a long distance relationship. I understand how difficult it can be so i had the conversation. Lets be honest with each other and jus be together when we’re together. But my friend at the time insisted that we be committed. Ok fine. I fell deeply in love and thought about moving in with him. Ten months into the relationship i get a phone call from the other women who is furious that she is the chick on the side. Well needless to say i broke up with him cause i deserve to have my own man and things would have been cool if he wasnt so worried about me being with other people. Cause i made the offer for him to see who ever he wanted to see when im not in town but when we are together we are together. He broke trust and didnt have to. The sad part about it is that i was really really into him. yes i fell in love with him. but its over now. So Mr Nice Guy you are right in so many ways, but dang all women arent liars. You need a good women in ur life.But if you had one, what would you write about?
@Sweetness54: ive just started a long distant relationship n i just pray rhat all will go well with us.
If you are young and dating you should break off any commitments and promise that if neither of you are in another relationship when the overseas work/education is over then you will see if the spark is still there. But to each his own and if a person wants to try to remain faithful, more power to them, but chances are the other one is not.
If you are married and have children refrain from going overseas for years of education and leaving your partner and parents behind to raise the children. You should have pursued a higher education before you got married and had children. Now you need to wait for the children to be grown and gone to college before you do the same. How a man could leave his wife and children to do this is daunting, but for a woman to give up being in her children’s lives for a few years is amazingly selfish. Children grow up so very fast and as a woman, I can’t believe woman would be willing to do this….yet it happens here all the time! Not to mention leaving your husband/boyfriend alone for years, knowing that this has got to be the cheating capital of the world!
In response to please, sorry my dear but I guarantee you that you will be left eating your words. If he didn’t want to be with her he would have ended their relationship already. You are the blind one and will be left standing in the dust. As all commenters have said, or inferred, that you have presented yourself as an arrogant, self-centered uncaring b@##$! This man probably likes what you give him but he probably likes more the freedom to hang where he wants and chill in privacy. If he’s doing you he must know what your character is like and he probably can’t wait for the love of his life to come back home full time.
For the women who are not familiar with these players, if you so much as hear an excuse that they are divorcing their wife and she has moved overseas or they are still living with her but not sleeping with her…..run! It doesn’t matter if they sleep by you all night and seem to be with you all the time, they still are doing her and another woman or two. It’s all a game, and when they catch you, when they know they have your love, they’ll dump you like a hot potato. Mission accomplished.If you want to believe your handsome man, decked out in all the bling, with a nice ride, and promising you all the world, and acting like your prince charming, is telling you the truth, then go right ahead honey, but don’t say you were never warned!
To All that said Neg Stuff.It is ok cause I was told that is how the B.V.I. is noone never have anything good to say. I was saying yes it is true that Long Distance do not work and give an example to why I agree. I do not have to think that I have the guy I know for a fact that I have him. I know because like I said We live together. I knew of the story before me and I said that the girl think she had a man. They have been apart for 2 years and he was not faithful to her. When I meet him we talk for months before it got serious. I read the text messages begging him for them to get back together. Like someone says if you and that person is so much in love and you want things to work out. Then move and be with the other person. I do have morals and I Damn sure respect myself.
IM IN ONE AND TRUST ME WE AS WOMEN HAVE TO KNO WAT WE ARE ABOUT…BOTH PARTIES HAVE TO KNO WAT DEY WANT IN LIFE……TRUST ME IM HAPPY AND LOVIN THE MAN AND I KNO HE LOVES ME…………….L
@Faithful Wife:
Those people who are involved in long distance relationship got to encourage them self that the other person do not will not cheat even if they are cheating themself, just for that special peace of mind. Every one speak for them self ONLY, you cant tell the tales of the otherside across lands/waters.( I have sex with lots of commited girls who is on vacation).Welcome to the BVI and Happy festival !!!!!
@Please: I would be so ashamed to write something like that….U feel like u have the man, but he is just using u, until his WOMAN comes back….smdh
Nice guy it right, for the most part. It can work, but is EXTREMELY difficult. For me, it does NOT work.
Mr. Nice Guy is partially correct. The article was written very harshly but he has a point. If many of US who are commenting tell the truth we know that some last up to a year but unable to sustain. I have been there and it is difficult. No, I am not a skank or some triffling woman, I am a honest loving person that loved my fiancee at home. Yes, the man gets tired of the same ‘hi, how was your day, etc etc..” and so does the woman.
Secondly, we have experiences and see things and your love one is not there to share in the moment and this also causes a dent in the relationship. Many factors other than the need to sexually gratify contribute to him/her moving on. If dents continue to occur and another nice woman or educated/sincere man comes along and show genuine interest again not so much in sex but interest in you generally it also rocks the relationship and can lead to the seperation.
Many woman need to understand ALL men have an ego, and it needs to be fed. I AM NOT talking about sex. Samething us as women want men need also. They are no different. They need to be compliment and carried for likewise.
ALL women have needs, sometimes it is security(often times), for that man to look into her eyes and she see the spark of when they first fell in love or even hear him tell her, “your hair is nice or those are some cute shos”. Without the innate needs that accompany a relationship it is very hard to maintain overseas.
Please DO NOT critise Mr. Nice guy again his article was not completely bringing the issues that destroy the relationship to the surface, but the relationships often do not go pass 1yr, granted they make it to a year. If they do, many have at some point cheated probably not intentionally but fell prey to emotions and circumstances at the times.
For me I just had to call it quits when I knew I was going to be away longer than a year. Sometimes we just need to be honest with ourselves and love the other person enough to let them go, if it is meant to be then one will sacrifice and relocate with the other person and both have to make it work but like Dickson Igwe state get married if you are relocating and planning a life together.
When people like you have NO morals. U here on the net boasting as if what u doing is something to be proud of. Respect yourself cause he himself playing games with u. Don’t be shock if u find he rolling up on ANOTHER girl cause KARMA IS TRULY A B#TCH!!!
Ps: not because he introduce u to his peoples means that he’s serious about u, to know check his mannerisms towards you…
You are the fool, Miss. Please. You put up with all this nonsense from a man? If he is practicing deception with his long-distance lady, guess what – you are getting played as well. Poor thing.
@Faithful Wife:
ps No stripping in front of cams is required
Nice Guy, you are so wrong. My husband and I have been living apart for a long while and trust me we have both been faithful to each other. You obviously haven’t met the right person yet. It is hard work, and you do get lonely, but you keep your eye on the prize and know that one day you will be together, and it works. You have to try to detach from people of the opposite sex in some ways. But there is always some temptress around, someone bored with their own little life who tries to stir some interest from your man. If he’s the Right Guy, he may chat sh– and venture into subjects that no decent woman should talk about, but in the end he goes home to his little apartment alone, and sends you a text or an email, or calls. A decent man knows if he’s pushing the envelope and will even “fess up” about these events, and sometimes will have to end casual contact with some people who are not of like mind. Or get a new set of friends. It’s about values. If you and your partner share the same values and believe in the same things, and have the same goals, I think you can make it. It’s hard work, but very worthwhile work because there is nothing so wonderful as having a clear conscience yourself and being able to trust your spouse. And when you do end up in the same place, the reunion is amazing. Well worth the wait.
i am not saying it will or wouldnt work, but if the love is there get togetherand make it together soi agree with this part when u love you sacrifice for each other so if you have to go college or whatever well go together!!!!! have a plan! so ill have to agree with this!part
So \7. My advice is that if you love each other so much, prepare to move together and make a life. One in and one out won’t work.
@john john: Not all John …please do not stereo type all women because of this one woman. I read her post and feel so disgusted of the way she spoke. She seem so proud and boastful, I really hope she knows that a relationship built on deceit will not last.
Now to the article, I see your point Mr Nice Guy but I truly believe that it can work but both parties have to be seriously minded not to date other person and be truly faithful to each other. There are still faithful men and women out there.
…………
Mr nice guy i think u sucks… cause sometimes thay work.but @ please i know of a similar situation n trust me d one in the house getting real played out also the one overseas cause the man is a big time player..so dont sit they n think the home girl is foolish ..i think u r d bigger fool sleeping with him every nite cause home girl could as well have her man so u wise up honey… u just the maid to cook wash iron and make him look good ..the man dont want you get out foolish girl…
nice guy i sorry for you. yes they do work. you know yourself not the other person. i’m in one and i know for sho that he is mine. love and trust my boy, love trust, sincerity goes a long way and bsides the little things in between goes a mile. messon u dont kno shit bout love. wa part a da island u from messon. lol lol lol lol i kno i happy
@Diamond22:I agree Diamond22. I myself have experience in long distance relationships and i’m in one all now and we are one of the happiest, drama free couples you will ever meet. It’s all according to your mind set and how much gossip you are willing to believe. Mr Nice Guy is just a sorry excuse for a man who probably has a wife n 3 kids n is having an affair with his secretary, wifes best friend, other coworkers and god knows he may even visit the whore house from time to time.
@Please: You sound so foolish. He don’t love you or respect you. Why do you think that he is not ending it with her. There is obviously something that he wants there. He may be using you for the little piece of ass that he can get while she is away, but that’s it. It’s your life and you may continue to disrespect yourself as you see fit. You may think that she is the one with the problem, but it’s you. If he cheating on she with you, what makes you think he aint doing the same to you. And then you brag about your unfaithful man like it is something to be proud of. It is women like you that are ok with the fact that men cheat that allow them to think that they can continue to cheat and all women are stupid enough to allow them to climb back in their beds dragging along the diseases and what not with them.
to please :… u sound so proud of yourself… braggin that u with a deceitful man HAHAHAHA …woman these days CHUPID meson.
Great article- but you are wrong dude- if both of you are truly in love and committed- you will wait- however- I suggest you get married before having sex- you may call me old fashioned- but it is the right way- and the only way- for a long term loving relationship to survive- especially in these times
Gurl you need to wake up you sound so dum, He is just using you to have a place to sleep and get his freak on i am soory to be a woman and it ppl like you that give us a bad name. You are lowering your standards jsut because he sleeps in your bed. When he decides to go back home we will see who is crying and who is not.
Please it DO NOT work, And I am saying that cause the guy I am with was in a so call long distance relationship when he meet me.We still together and home girl thinks she have a man. Little that she may know her man lives with me and we sleep in the same bed everynight.( So when she call late night and he can not talk ask yourself why) Yes you can talk on the computer and that’s all and yes he may lie to you when you want to come see him. But when and if she do come see him(I might be out of town for work) so he tell you come and when you leave on that plane is right back to his normal life again with me. Yes you might also talk on the phone but look at the times when you do talk and if he always telling you he will call you back. He calls in the morning when I leave for work , lunch time, and when he on his way home from work. And we as woman know when things are not right and when men are telling lies. And I know she feels it also. And he even do not claim her and yes his family knows about me also they might act to you that they do not know and you are the one but your Not. I feel bad for her cause everyone knows all his friends. So if she do come into town he can not take her around most of them cause they will ask question and half of them is my family also so when she do come she stuck inside a hotel or house and can only go to dinner. Poor thing. But such is life. You either Live with it or You Move On.
if u weak U WEAK ,if u strong U STRONG
who build for it?
nice guy u sound like a weak guy lmao making all kind of excuses
Dude… That’s your perspective on long distance relationships…not mine..I know it does work and I speak from experience… Both parties have to be strong willed and dedicated…
oh please you aint hear about the new craze – phone sex and internet sex
yes long distance relationships can work and work all the time
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