No sex but kiss and caress with 14-year-old, is that legal?
Dear Dr. Cindy - Wednesday, November 14th, 2012 at 12:09 PM
Dear Dr. Cindy: I am a 23-year-old man. I recently got into a relationship with a 14-year-old girl. I know she is under aged so we do not have sex. We just kiss and fondle. Is that illegal?
I do not want to get into any trouble, I really love her.
Cool Dude
Dear Cool Dude:
You have posed a legal question, a non-clinical or non-mental health question for which is out of my professional discipline.
I suggest that you see what the laws of your state or country states about adult relationships with minors. These may vary depending on the state or country in which you live.
Best Wishes,
Dr. Cindy
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28 Comments
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This is sick!! And what’s even more sick is that he wants to know if its wrong!! Tain nothing right about that! 23 and 14 just dont add to nothing but she coulda been his daughter! I pray its mental disorder because if its not he needs to be behind bars pronto!!
If I ever catch a grown ass man Tryna fondle my daughter the doctors would be no help after he get the first 32 slugs in his face….b######t
cool dude…u nasty as hell she’s 14..u nasty! seek help! u really love her? at 14 what in the hell does she know about love? LOL i’m 19 and hardly know anything! and uhm..i’ll say again U NASTY AS HELL! good bye! wow!
The police need to track this man’s IP address and lock him to tail up………
As a professional, that is the correct answer. The individual who posed the question should refer to the laws of the land in which he resides. Then again, from his letter he knows what he is doing is unlawful!
Fondle and kissing ALWAYS lead to sex…..dont try tht big boy!!! U a man, leave the minors alone!!!
Well Cindy
Isn’t it obvious what the laws are in his country? If he’s saying he fondled and kissed a 14 year old BUT DID NOT have sex with her therefore if THAT would still be illegal, that tells me that in his country such sexual relations are illegal but he just trying to make it all technical by saying he didnt have sex with her because he thinks he loves her. I agree with everyone else>>even if you dont deal with the illegal part it is immoral and he has the wrong mindset.
To Cool Dude (Nottt) If you really love her, leave her alone and give her a chance to grow up and focus on her school work instead of trying to arouse her. At some point your fondling and kissing WILL lead to sex and other problems and consequences. Leave her to mature and not be force riped unless and until you can commit to marry her. Right now you putting yourself at risk for her calling rape on you at any time…are you prepared to go to prison? Are you prepared to have your name published all over the news for the public to see who you are?
What you feeling is more likely lust than love. You yourself need to learn how to have relationships with older and more mature adults in your age range because the only way you could be attracted to a child is if u still think like a child yourself. Maybe older women have hurt you in the past or something. You need to be brave and take two steps in the adult world and leave the children them alone.
What you doing is WRONG WRONG WRONG. At some point you WILL get burned. ahriight.
Objectively Dr. Cindy is correct–given the varying laws within countries internationally.
However, she could have related and addressed the Question Asked within the legal and moral context of the British Virgin Islands and the wider West Indies where there are laws which generally prohibit intimate relations–short of and including sex–between minors and adults.
A little legal research on Dr. Cindy’s part vis-a-vis the laws extant within the larger Commonwealth West Indian Community would have at least attempted to resolve the underlying Moral Issue of the Enquirer’s Legal Question!
In that sense Dr. Cindy dropped the ball, leaving the Questioner and his Issue unresolved!
Dr. Cindy you are out of your dam mind.would you allow a 23 year old man to fondle your 14 year old daughter? You are an officer of the court, what would you do if you saw a 23 year old man sexually molesting a 14 year old? Would you stand by and wonder what state you are living in and what are the bi-laws? You are ridiculous.What world are you living in? I guess you couldn’t find the answer in on of your text books. I am a clinician and I expected better of you!
A 23 year old (MAN) going out with a 14 year old (GIRL). Pana you done gah the answer there in front of you. IF you gah ask people if it right, it almost certainly ain’t. What kinda hot blooded 23 year old due gah cause goin’ with a girl who still gah ask for Lunch money and permission to lime on a friday?
Pana, Go look a WOMAN. A WOMAN. A woman who can go out with you when she want, drink, smoke (If you into that), travel, and spend the night. A woman who can hold you down and throw an un Earthly F–K on you if you prime she right and ain’t gah put on school skirt to go home afterwards.
Pana, seriously, you dangling on the precipice here with this crap. She’s a minor, not yet 16 and even so, if you ‘love’ her as much as you claim you should do right by her and leave her alone until she reach that age or older. But on the real, go look a woman. You need help? Leh we go buss a lime, Rasta.
you Cindy any one else send a question to you they just stupid,were are your moral?That is a legal question every one know including that young man its wrong.So i don’t know what what you saying.you need to stop giving advice ,you need help yourself.
People of God listen..as long as this 23 year old man repent on any perceive sin he shall be saved forgiven by the lord.Why? Cause Christianity is REAL.
Anyways the bible does not condone this. Mary being a virgin in her days was more than likely in a child’s age when she married much older Joseph. Is this a crime? No it’s not.
You should marry her before you fondle her though. This is a sin. Not the age
pope u also need help……change ur religion and also seek help
DR CINDY: HE DONT NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT R THE LAWS OF HIS COUNTRY. ITS A UNIVERSAL CRIME(EXPECT IN THE MID EAST) YOU SHOULD KNOW THT.DR. CINDY YOUR ANSWER SUCKS…..JUST SAYING
A man in his early 20s who can only have a relationship with a girl in her mid teens is a man in trouble. Leave the girl alone. I like that poster at RTHC that shows a young girl, and a young woman in her 20s. It says,”If you can’t tell the difference”, then leave the girl alone!
YES IT IS……WOULD YOU WANT ANYONE DOING THIS TO YOUR DAUGHTER OR SISTER? YOU AS THE ADULT SHOULD KNW WAY BETTER
I can agree with all the coments but what happen to the oyung lady she needs to go and pick up a damn book and go and study her lesson these young ladies or school girls is to damn bright with themself every one is bashing the young man what happen to the lady and where are her parents when this fondling is happen nonsense i say i would burst her rump if i had to find out
The girl only has to say he fondled her in the wrong place and off to jail with his extremely sorry ass. Very disappointed with Dr Cindy – there’s no ‘mental’ side to a 23 year old wanting to date a kid 9 years his minor? struppes
We need Bella back because cindy ain’t ready as she claims. Cindy tell the man he is in for trouble. If it was his daughter he would want to kill the man that was fondling his child.This man needs to be reported to social development. He also said he don’t want to get into trouble if so be the case leave the girl alone and go look a hard back woman so u could sex and fondle and enjoy it.
Dude needs to be called out for what he is. A pedophile!
This sick f@@K is on a lippery slope to bigger things an eventually off to Jail!
I REFUSE TO COMMENT ON THAT QUESTION , I AM ALLERGIC TO STUPIDNESS AND STUPID PEOPLE ;
Why you don’t go up the Police station and ask them that question since you want to act so dumb. The legal age of consent in the BVI isn’t 16?! I would like to think kissing and fondling sexual in nature, so its obvious you violating her. Its illegal!
To answer the 23 year old man who likes to kiss and fondle little girls… WTF is wrong with you?? Why don’t you go ask her father what he thinks about you having a relationship with his little girl. Stop being a paedophile, grow up and go find yourself a woman. What is it that makes adult males want naive little girls? Is it that your level of maturity is so poor that any ladies of your own age would find you a dumba$$ and not want to date you?
No,it’s illegal and you should go and get a young lady your age. Can’t u see that’s a child,just turn a teenager a year ago and u already trying to get serious with her. Come on man,leave the person child alone,if it was my daughter u tried that on I would have deal with you….Trust me. Bottom line,get someone that’s at the age of consent or slower to your age.
Cood Dude You asking for trouble Leave the 14 year old alone and find someone closer to your own age.
That’s it? We waited all week for a question with a non-answer? What happened to all the letters that went to Bella?
LOL, you crack me up.. sorry can’t stop laughing…hilarious…haha. But my sentiments exactly…
So Cindy because his question is legal that does not eliminate your moral opinion on this disgusting “realationship”. Nowhere (apart from Afganistan or devuot muslim tribal regions) would this be a non-issue. If you could not or did not want to give your opinion on the legality the least you could have done was speak to the divergence in maturity levels and understanding between a 14yr old and that of a 28 yr old! Geez man!
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