Single woman can’t get married man off her mind
Bella - Wednesday, August 4th, 2010 at 12:31 PM
Dear Bella: I have been seeing a guy for about three months now. He used to come to my coffee shop everyday and somehow he swept me away. Right away I knew that he was married because he would wear his ring everyday.
After a few weeks of seeing him he removed his ring. I am not expecting anything; well at least I try not to. What bothers me is that he wants to be in a relationship with me. He is not with her because she is in France; he says that he and her are done and that he is working on it, yet I can’t help but think how can he want a relationship with me if he is technically married.
He is here for work and he has told me that he plans to go back to France, and when he says it doesn’t bother me because I can’t foretell the future, but the problem is that I feel rushed into being in a relationship. I want him to get himself cleared because obviously he has some issues that need to be resolved, but I can’t help it but wanting to see him! Any tips that you can give me?
Best Regards,
JZ.
Dear JZ,
If he and his wife are done why is he going back to France? I hope for your sake it is to file for divorce because he is not “technically married” but actually still married. I really think that women just make their lives more dramatic by committing themselves to situations that cause more hurt in their lives.
If his marriage is not working or his wife has cheated on him and he loves you why should he hesitate to leave the marriage? Married people should try to work out their issues and not try to try to get in the underwear of someone just because they’re experiencing stumbling blocks in their relationships. Moreover, others should not try to come between a marriage; that is dangerous ground you’re walking upon.
Really you need to allow this guy to solve his problems and not drown you into it, because you don’t know what is happening and you only have his word. If one day for any reason though he tells you he is divorced you should let him show you the proof of that too; he might just be looking for a mistress- if he already doesn’t have one.
Bella.
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To all the women out there who enjoy eating crumbs left from the table, for Goodness sakes get some self esteem, pride, education and a single unattaced man of your own. JZ, do you know how degrading your letter sounds? You give the word woman a bad name. I am aware that there is a shortage of men in the world, but why a married man. Haven’t you ever had anything that wasn’t used? Have you ever had an elegant dinner, and felt that it was prepared exclusively for you; and you didn’t have to wait until everyone at the table was satisfied beforeyou could eat what they left?
Have you ever hear about about self worth, pride, self esteem?
Let me tell you a true story about some one I know. The man had only been marred three months when a woman set her sights on him. His wife was in the US. He was waiting for his green card in order to join his wife in the U.S. The woman got pregnant and had a son, The man stayed married to his wife for many years. (twenty) to be exact. They eventually got a divorce. The woman thought the man would now finally marry her. Guess what? He married another woman. The other woman lost the dam mind.
I am convinced that women out there have no sense! Trust me sometimes I am so asahmed to be one of these species! How can you want a man that is married? If the wife live in France, why was Mr. wearing his ring? AND why did he take it off as soon as he is seeing you? Honestly speaking do you find you have sense? STUPES
Well first I have to say that this woman WRONG!!!!!! for even thinking about getting into a relationship with someone else’s man an worse a MARRIED man. You saw the ring so you know he’s married. Not because he took it off means he’s not married anymore SMH. I personally think that you are selfish and inconsiderate. Put yourself i his wife’s shoes,would you have wanted for another woman to do you the same thing??? NOT… be a real woman and get your own man. He already got a wife, you’re only going to be his side dish, be a Main dish for once..REAL TALK
These ladies nowadays have lose their values and morals for themselves and think that they are hurting the wife/husband but they are truly hurting themselves because they have lose respect, consideration and love for themselves and they seek wherever they find whether or not he/she is available. This is the Lord’s covenant and if this is the fire you are playing with you will get burn…make it worse if nothing happens to you maybe your kids or close family. Do not interfere with God’s gift whether they were meant to be or not is not for you to justify. Tell him to go his way or get a divorce…in broken terms….you have no selfworth and you need to get a grip and look for single men.
I hope its not my husband. Anyway, don’t stoop that low…the bottom line is he’s married. Wait on your husband don’t take anyone’s trash. Remember he probably was the reason why they might have a divorce.
these single women writing these letters to bella seem to be looking for permission or okay to be with married men. But Bella I sure you fear God and when these women committ ADULTERY they dont need any advice on what to do you need to telll them go read their bible. Never love a man more than you love God.
All the men are doing is lieing, they done she’s not coming back, but in the end she is back and he is at home in her bed every night and you are the one without someone to love, how sad let them go their merry way i’ve been there it’s a very sad place to be but we shoudn’t be an option we are ladies come on!
Leave him alone. Find another man(single) to boot.
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