Mothers valuing men more than their children — Davies
Local attorney Daniel Davies has suggested there may be a parenting crisis in the territory.
He argued that some mothers are guilty of focusing far too much on their partners, even as they ignore the physical and emotional needs of their children.
“There is a parenting issue in the Virgin Islands,” Davies said on Wednesday night’s Hot Seat radio show. “We always talk about there being too many baby daddies, but not enough… fathers. But on the other hand, on the other spectrum, we have a lot of mothers within the territory that concentrate more on the fellow that happens to be presently in their life than on raising their children.”
The attorney argued that a mentally absent mother is just as traumatising to the children that she is raising as an absent father.
He added: “In fact, it could probably be a bit more hurtful that your mother is paying more attention and giving more… paying more attention and showing more love to the fellow that is in her life presently than to her own children and that is something that has to be addressed.”
Davies also pointed to another issue where some mothers or fathers take child support payments and give them to their partners instead of the children.
“I know that there are a lot of young ladies that are out there who are hurting because their mothers have paid more attention and showed more caring towards the man that’s in their life now… than to [their] children,” Davies said.
He suggested that one possible solution to the problem could be a better-financed public school system supported by adequate school counsellors.
“While the counsellors are not the parents, they can step in in certain ways,” Davies posited. “They can observe from a distance what is going on and approach the child to find out what is going on in their lives and perhaps to provide some support because everyone needs a rock in their life.”
He added that parents usually form this support system for children but argued that not every child benefits from this type of situation.
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it’s called normalised ratchetness.The men begging wife and the woman looking wuk husband…you know the married dudes buying them hairdo,malt and shrimp lunch.
@are Dang!!!!!! Just like that.
Truth be told. People are getting children, not because they started out looking to get pregnant, but because they ended up getting pregnant due to not using protection. Many of the pregnancies are due to one night stands and others, the man only wanted a good knock-up when he can get it and no committment or responsibility. The minute the girl tell the man she pregnant he will hit the road because that’s not what he was there for. So the mother is now on her own and the fun is done.
These situations cause the women to continue the trend, and get another man to help pay the rent and lavish lifestyle and man come and man come.
This is true
But not this one right here
Men can go ….. themselves or whoever
This woman here my child after God
Sounds like an adult novel: “When torn between hot sex and being a mother” Kinda ratchet but you know ppl will read it
hog wash. Have nothing of value to say, skip your turn in thenews cycle.
No mother ever choses a man over her child. Shame on that though.
Political maturity lacking.
Stop trolling. You clearly have no idea what you are talking about. There are many mothers that choose men over their children, the world over. In the BVI it is particularly prevelant.
Evidence sir/madam. Provide the evidence.
Our women have more pride in their offspring and motherhood than this article suggest.
It is bogus thought parading for acceptability and voter clout.
Liked your comment by mistake. Meant to dislike the rubbish you speak.
What rock you just crawl from under to type this ignorant comment…OF COURSE there are mothers who put:
1. MAN
2. PARTYING / SHOWS / EVENTS
3. HAIRDO AND FASHION
4. FRIENDS
5. ANY AND EVERYTHING ELSE BEFORE THEIR CHILDREN
THEN…
Got the world thinking they’re the mother of the year with photos on social media with the 2 minutes ever so often they are around them.
He is describing out loud the elephant in the room
Women choose who gets sex and who are born. Men choose whether to advance the relationship. Women need to teach the young girls about the over 30 forms of birth control. If the women don’t know themselves about those 30 forms of birth control we are bound to have a country of single baby mamas. FACTS
As a man, why can’t he speak on the men who value neither women nor child???? But tis who suppose to look after a household? Very troubling. Just hush.
As I said it’s the woman’s responsibility who is born and who she sleeps with. She should sleep with someone that shows the ability to stick to something that is meaningful and can add value to not only himself but also her and any children they may have. Finally only carry if you marry. If not once again a country full of single baby mamas.
I say mothers teach your children to look for a life’s partner, a husband. Stop having sex outside of marriage. Stop creating these soul ties and resulting children all around Town. It is not of God. He is coming soon and he said “Unless you are converted and become like children, you will not make it into the Kingdom of Heaven. Shouldn’t we stop living like we don’t know there is a Heaven and a hell? Not because everybody does it makes it right.
The first 7 years of a child life is what helps to determine the values , habits and men or women traits they take into adulthood.
Of Course SOME mothers do choose men over children WHY
1. They want money
2. They want the finer things in life at the child expense they dump them on the foolish grandp thearents who are afraid of their daughtets
3. Some step fathers rape their daughters and they refuse to believe the child ( numerous cases) love of money
4. Many
Of them father children with people husband …
5. Some of the women need immigration status
6. The list go on that is why the culture is breaging down to shreds
Firstly, there should not be a competition. Partners should allow and support you if there are kids and you are trying your best to love and care for them. Any woman who is with someone who has a problem with this, well wise up put your feet down or leave the fool……
In addition parent should teach kids not to be selfish that life is about give and take.
Lastly, this nonsense about giving the children care money to man..
..I can’t even begin to process that one.
Why this issue is in the news, is mind boggling!
Nonetheless, it’s safe to conclude, that most mothers do know what’s best for their children, and will engage in activities, that can positively enhance such, even if it means,ensuring that a male provider, is in a privileged place, to continue to do so.
I think the issue at hand, should be, whether social services are adequate to substitute, in the place of failure, from male providers..
..And, not offer disdain,or ridicule, from situations that may arise, due to reproductive neglect, or irresponsibility.
I always found it interesting that you need a license to drive a car, a passport to travel etc etc
But when it comes to having children, you can have as many as you like even if you are a wretched human.
BV islanders!! Doesn’t get more selfish than that. Not very nice people at all! Sad really as you sit and judge others your little island is falling apart!! Says a lot about you all as people!! But it’s the white man fault.
@Anonymous…so your comments are exactly what you are telling people not to do. Be judgmental. You are doing a good job at it. You know just who the hell you are talking about. This situation applies to as all involved. Having a child don’t keep a man or woman.